This is an edited update of a blog piece from last week.
It’s edited to include a link to an article provided by a friend of mine, Chris
Counts, in response to my original. (http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/please-don’t-thank-me-for-my-service/ar-BBhPFEn) If you don’t want to read the whole piece (it’s not that long and worthwhile,
IMO), it essentially confirms my original misgivings, at least for some vets.
In addition, this updated version will be (re)posted on Facebook as a
stand-alone article, and not, like the last time, as part of the “Comments”
section to my original Facebook question/post. This typeface and style will
denote the additions to the regular piece.
In part due to smarmy radio
and television talking heads and politicians making a show of their patriotism
by constantly thanking all past and present military for their service, I came
to question whether “Thanks for your
service” was always appropriate and well received. It seemed, to me, to have
become sort of a pro forma statement,
so I posted the following question on Facebook:
I have a question for my formers who are, or were, in the
military. I had occasion to briefly interact with the son of a friend (also a
former) who is currently serving. Because of my friendship with his mom, I've
known him for a while and we've met before (didn't need to be introduced).
After a brief conversation, we were saying our good-byes and I thanked him for
his service. While sincere, that expression has seemed to become such a
catch-phrase used so often that it sounds almost meaninglessly automatic, and,
therefore, discounted. What is your reaction to being thanked in this way? Or
am I overthinking again?
It would
appear that, as is my wont, I was, indeed, overthinking – again.
What
became clear was not only that is that statement well-received, the gratitude
expressed is at least matched by the pride in their service, whether or not
they view it as a sacrifice. Even when not seen as any kind personal sacrifice
on their part, they recognized that
for many of their brothers and sisters (both literal and in-arms), the service was
indeed a sacrifice that deserves recognition.
There
will always be exceptions, of course, but I hope, and do believe, that we have progressed as a
country to the point where we can appreciate our servicemen and women while still,
when necessary, separating their efforts on our behalf from whatever political decisions
made by our government put them in harm’s way. The fact that they may have
benefitted personally or professionally from their service does not discount
its value to the rest of us.
So I
will, when the opportunity presents itself, continue to express my thanks to
our military men and women for their service to our country. That small token
is the least that I can do. I will continue to support charities like The
Wounded Warrior Project or St. Louis Honor Flight. Beyond that, I would hope
that our politicians start doing more than wearing flag lapel pins and
making speeches around election time; instead I hope they start keeping the
promises, both implicit and implied, that have made not only to our soldiers
but their families, as well (http://bobberndt.blogspot.com/2014/05/ought-to-be-no-brainer.html). That will take money and can’t be funded simply by cutting
budgets or eliminating wasteful spending. We need to start recognizing the true
and ongoing cost of maintaining – and supporting – our military and make
decisions based on those numbers, not imaginary ones.
As one of the original commenters, a young man who has actually served, noted, it’s your sincerity that makes the difference. Any gratitude for
anything, sincerely expressed, might be misunderstood or misinterpreted, but
should never be a cause for regret or second-guessing. It is your
responsibility to make sure that’s the case, however.
In the meantime, to all my friends and formers, as well as
their families and extended families, my sincere thanks and appreciation for
your service.
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