Saturday, November 29, 2014

Joys of Aging, Part ?? -- I forget

Well, I took advantage of the beautiful end-of-November day and the holiday lights are now up, just waiting for dusk to illuminate the house. I’m not sure, however, if I have perhaps reached the stage of life where I ought not be climbing around on a roof. There were no close calls, no less-than-subtle messages (which are about the only kind that I respond to any more) like gasping neighbors or 911 calls, or sliding down the roof toward the gutter, or jumping from tipping ladders….
One of the real advantages of aging (unless you’re a victim of terminal immaturity, but those types seldom actually reach old age) is that you substitute increased caution for decreased dexterity. Advanced planning also helps, which reduces frustration, because dealing with that is not one of my great strengths and leads to carelessness.
And, of course, by advanced planning I mean never taking down the lights from last season. No, not really; but I still don’t have the system quite down pat, as the outdoor outlet will remain unused for yet another year because I started with the wrong end of the light chain. However, I did label the strands to go in the right order and I didn’t have to figure that out (as I did for at least the previous 4-5 years). The garage outlet doesn’t mind, I’m sure. It probably gets lonely, anyway. It’s not like there’s ever been a car in the there to keep it company.


Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanksgiving & White Privilege

Many years ago, as part of a consciousness-awareness-raising workshop or in-service, I was introduced to the concept of “White Privilege.” I didn’t find either the workshop or term offensive. I’ve known for a long time I was a child of privilege. The SAT tests I took in the ‘60s were written for kids just like me, white, middle class, the progeny of striving parents (both first generation HS graduates, btw). It’s not the only reason I did well, but it was an advantage I had that was not universally shared, including by a significant percentage of white kids.
Neither did I take it personally or get defensive, though some of my colleagues were resistant and did feel attacked. However, I did reject the projected guilt that seemed to be expected by the presenters. It was no more my fault that I had been the beneficiary of so many advantages than it was the fault of the vast majority of kids I taught, both black and white, that they weren’t. Slavery and its pernicious, continuing aftermath was neither my fault nor reversible. I had long ago recognized that not everyone starts from the same place, that where you end up in this marathon of life is, at least in part, determined by where you start on the course (and, yes, sadly, less but still all too often, the color of your skin), and you have no control over those factors. 
But no one starts at the finish line (and I would pity them if they did; without struggle there is no growth). Maybe I did only have to run a half-marathon over fairly smooth roads instead of a 39.3 with innumerable hills, hurdles, obstacles, and even land mines (in the case of some of my Bosnian students, not a mere figurative reference). I tip my hat to those whose course was longer and more rugged than mine, but I still have to run my race, which is still not finished. 
It’s why I’m so proud of so many of my former students, because I know how tough their race was, and, in some cases, continues to be. It was a continuing frustration for many Hancock staff trying to counterbalance the self-imposed low expectations of too many of our kids, kids who openly said, “Hey, what do you expect, I’m from Lemay.” And for the majority who have succeeded or are still working to succeed, I can understand why some of them, in spite of everything, don’t feel “privileged,” and struggle to recognize what that is supposed to mean in relation to their life experiences.*
Recognizing privilege, at whatever level it exists – or doesn’t exist – is neither an excuse nor cause for celebration. Those who won or lost the genetic and/or socioeconomic lotteries are still responsible for their lives. But we all need to recognize that no matter how many obstacles we may have faced, others have faced more, and while it’s no excuse, it might just be at least a partial explanation, and true empathy mitigates a lot of anger and resentment.
But privilege is so much more than economic opportunity. I never have to worry about being looked at suspiciously when I walk into a store because of my race. I never have to worry about poor or no service at a restaurant because of my race. I never have to worry about getting pulled over by the police because I don’t “fit” in the neighborhood. The list goes on and on, the privilege, if you will, that I get simply by being white. That key component CANNOT, MUST NOT, be ignored.
So this Thanksgiving, like so many I’ve celebrated over the past decades, I choose to recognize my many blessings, with no resentment for those who may have had even more advantages, and empathy for the oh-so-many who had fewer, hope that I’ve done what I could to give back and share my blessings with those who have had a much more challenging race to run, and resolve to continue to do as much as I can, for as many as I can, as long as I can.
Here’s hoping that all who read this find their own blessings this Thanksgiving Day. Peace and love.

    
* When I first posted this piece, two years ago, a number of my formers suggested (kindly, respectfully, but not in so many words) that I was perhaps being condescending, that for any number of reasons, but often to the credit of their parents, they did not feel underprivileged, and, although I notice now that I did not use that exact term, I understand that the word (or its implication) has a negative connotation; what I meant to suggest is that privilege, like prejudice, is a continuum, not solely an either/or proposition. At whatever level of privilege each of us started, it is our obligation to recognize that there are many who have had a more challenging story to live; they deserve not our sympathy, but our empathy. 
    Incidentally, IMO there are no adequate synonyms for empathy, which is why I kept repeating it.


Monday, November 24, 2014

Before the Ferguson Announcement

The whole Ferguson thing makes me sad.  Some random thoughts before the announcement:
• Just because someone calls you racist doesn’t mean you are.
• Conversely, just because you don’t (want to) believe you’re a racist doesn’t mean you aren’t.
• Just because you don’t see (or understand [or it’s not your problem]) a problem doesn’t mean there is no problem.
• Protests, going back to before the American Revolution, have always been led by “radicals” and have always been opposed by those who favor the status quo.
• It only takes one random act to turn peace into violence. (See the Boston Massacre)
• If you’ve referred to protesters (as a group) in derogatory terms, you might think about the dangers of stereotyping. It damages both the typer and typee, because now both have to overcome preconceived identities.
• Name-calling has never, to my knowledge, helped to solve a problem.
• If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem, like it or not.


Friday, November 14, 2014

Cruise Diary 14: Days 8-11, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Mexico



It would appear that the Pacific side of these countries is more affluent than the Caribbean side. Not that you will want to go house hunting any time soon, but still, not nearly as depressing as what we saw last year.
As noted previously, Costa Rica is proud of its accomplishments and heritage. However, the one constant on this trip is that every guide feels the same way about his (or her) country. It truly irks me when the drum-beaters for “American Exceptionalism” fail to realize that most people, or at least those with a sense of country, believe that their country, too, is exceptional. Those same loud voices are also critical of the trend to eliminate winners and losers, the trophies for all attitude. “We can’t all be winners.”
I get that, but comparing your country to mine isn’t even a parlor game and what rules there may be come from those who want to stack the deck so that their homeland becomes the winner. National pride can’t only be good when it’s ours. Who is to say that we’re better than anyone else? I’d suggest we’d be better off treating our attitude toward our country like golf, and working on just being the best that we can, knowing there is always room for improvement, without the need to “beat” some other country. In the unlikely event that I could beat you (or anyone) in a golf match, it still wouldn’t mean I was any good.
Being better than the competition doesn’t mean you’re good. Being louder than the other side doesn’t mean you’re right. Bob Dylan long ago got it right when he said, “Not to climb up any higher but rather drag you down the hole that he’s in.” We should be cheering these countries as they work to develop their economies, education, social services, etc., even if not always the same way we would prefer. Instead, the American Exceptionalists seem to want to put a ceiling on others’ ambition so that we can wave our foam fingers and shout, “We’re #1!” to justify any action we take. Let’s at least not be offended or surprised when we get a different finger in return.
On a slightly different note, I must admit it was a bit disconcerting to see all the soldiers with big guns on our last two stops. I know I’m in the minority here, but being surrounded by armed people, even if it’s obviously the military doing its job, does NOT make me feel safer. It only makes me wonder when they’re going to use them, and on whom. And if you’re a civilian toting a gun, well, hey, you may know you’re not crazy or a threat to me, but I sure as hell don’t. Quite frankly, your need to display your weaponry is enough to make me wonder.
But back to foreign travel, we remember seeing lots of guns and armed security in Europe, especially Italy, almost 40 years ago. Didn’t make us feel safer then, either.
In any case, we’re happy to be trading the snow at home for the 80+ degree temperatures here, at least temporarily. And now a few random pictures: