Over 60 Workout

Physical fitness is, allegedly, an important component for a productive life. Based on my own experience, I think seniors should get daily life credit for physical fitness simply because staying alive requires most of the activities described below on a daily basis. Feel free to suggest others if I publish this prematurely out of fear that I’ll forget it.

I’ve already noted that I think the time it takes to put on my athletic shoes should count as part of my workout regimen. I’m calling that activity the “Socks Over Feet, Shoes Over Socks” Warm Up. It needs a name because otherwise I might forget the proper order and have to add it to Exercise #3, which carries enough reps on its own.

Let’s see what else is included in the Over 60 Workout. Large print format for obvious reasons.

The Over-60 Workout includes the following, none of which need to be done each and every day, but all of which you can count on repeating with regularity:*

1. Do Overs: 5-10 per day, the number of times you need to start over on something, because you forgot what you were doing, where you were doing it, what you came into the room for, or what you needed to do, wait, what was I working on again?

2. Roll Overs: Usually 3-5 per night, adjusting to the aches, pains, and other bodily functions associated with the Joys of Aging.

3. Start Overs: 1-2 per day, depending on your agenda: You know you did it better before, or you forgot where you started out the first time and now have the same project going simultaneously in more than one location. I’ve come to terms with accepting accomplishing one task has made it a good day.

4. Bend Overs: 5-6 per day, to pick up whatever (frequently keys, in my case) you just dropped.... again. Also used in picking up the pieces of what broke because you dropped it one too many times.

5. Up & Down Overs (Stairs): 3-4 per day, depending on how many things you forgot to get while you were up/down there, or what you forgot to get because you were distracted by something else.

6. Move Overs: Every damn time you try to walk in a straight line next to someone.

7. Trip Overs: Most days offer multiple opportunities to get this one in, even on incredibly flat surfaces.

8. Zip Overs: A small muscle exercise, created by forgetting, well, you know.

9. The ultimate, of course, is the “Keel Over,” but I’d suggest avoiding that one for as long as possible.

* Fortunately, you don’t actually need to count or keep track of exactly how many times you do any of these, which is just as well.

Happy New Year (and Happy Old Ones, Too)

New Year’s Eve, 1968. Our second date. Found out, among other things, Carolyn was a good sport. Playing charades (which she hates), her song title: Don’t Let the Screen Door Hit Ya Where the Cat Bit Ya. This would have been awful even for someone who liked the game!

We are all changed, to a greater or lesser degree, by our relationships, as well as events, random or not, depending on how you view the universe. (See Ray Bradbury’s A Sound of Thunder) In my own case, I think that’s especially true (and yes, I know we ALL think we’re more unique than we really are), because, at a really immature 20, I was wandering cluelessly through my life, with no idea as to what I was or where I was going. Becoming my authentic self wasn’t even something I had even thought about, wasn’t even in my field of vision. I can’t say who I was trying to be, mostly because I didn’t really know who I was.

Lucky for me, I found a partner who only knew how to be authentic and encouraged, prodded, and supported my halting journey toward a true self. I must also credit my career as a teacher for helping me forge my path, because kids, not just Holden Caulfield, can always spot the fakes and phonies, but none of it would have been possible without that safety net of unconditional love every day I came home.

I look forward to continuing that journey, and am thankful for having had someone to hold my hand as I’ve stumbled along these past 46 years. As I’ve told so many students in the past, life is a marathon, not a sprint, and as I start to make out the involuntary finish line in (what I hope is) the distant future, the goal is to keep on going, and work hard to help others as I can, or at least not run or stumble over anyone along the way.

May 2015 be a year of growth and joy for all of us.

Joys of Aging, Part ?? -- I forget

Well, I took advantage of the beautiful end-of-November day and the holiday lights are now up, just waiting for dusk to illuminate the house. I’m not sure, however, if I have perhaps reached the stage of life where I ought not be climbing around on a roof. There were no close calls, no less-than-subtle messages (which are about the only kind that I respond to any more) like gasping neighbors or 911 calls, or sliding down the roof toward the gutter, or jumping from tipping ladders….

One of the real advantages of aging (unless you’re a victim of terminal immaturity, but those types seldom actually reach old age) is that you substitute increased caution for decreased dexterity. Advanced planning also helps, which reduces frustration, because dealing with that is not one of my great strengths and leads to carelessness.

And, of course, by advanced planning I mean never taking down the lights from last season. No, not really; but I still don’t have the system quite down pat, as the outdoor outlet will remain unused for yet another year because I started with the wrong end of the light chain. However, I did label the strands to go in the right order and I didn’t have to figure that out (as I did for at least the previous 4-5 years). The garage outlet doesn’t mind, I’m sure. It probably gets lonely, anyway. It’s not like there’s ever been a car in the there to keep it company.

Thanksgiving & White Privilege

Many years ago, as part of a consciousness-awareness-raising workshop or in-service, I was introduced to the concept of “White Privilege.” I didn’t find either the workshop or term offensive. I’ve known for a long time I was a child of privilege. The SAT tests I took in the ‘60s were written for kids just like me, white, middle class, the progeny of striving parents (both first generation HS graduates, btw). It’s not the only reason I did well, but it was an advantage I had that was not universally shared, including by a significant percentage of white kids.

Neither did I take it personally or get defensive, though some of my colleagues were resistant and did feel attacked. However, I did reject the projected guilt that seemed to be expected by the presenters. It was no more my fault that I had been the beneficiary of so many advantages than it was the fault of the vast majority of kids I taught, both black and white, that they weren’t. Slavery and its pernicious, continuing aftermath was neither my fault nor reversible. I had long ago recognized that not everyone starts from the same place, that where you end up in this marathon of life is, at least in part, determined by where you start on the course (and, yes, sadly, less but still all too often, the color of your skin), and you have no control over those factors. 

But no one starts at the finish line (and I would pity them if they did; without struggle there is no growth). Maybe I did only have to run a half-marathon over fairly smooth roads instead of a 39.3 with innumerable hills, hurdles, obstacles, and even land mines (in the case of some of my Bosnian students, not a mere figurative reference). I tip my hat to those whose course was longer and more rugged than mine, but I still have to run my race, which is still not finished. 

It’s why I’m so proud of so many of my former students, because I know how tough their race was, and, in some cases, continues to be. It was a continuing frustration for many Hancock staff trying to counterbalance the self-imposed low expectations of too many of our kids, kids who openly said, “Hey, what do you expect, I’m from Lemay.” And for the majority who have succeeded or are still working to succeed, I can understand why some of them, in spite of everything, don’t feel “privileged,” and struggle to recognize what that is supposed to mean in relation to their life experiences.*

Recognizing privilege, at whatever level it exists – or doesn’t exist – is neither an excuse nor cause for celebration. Those who won or lost the genetic and/or socioeconomic lotteries are still responsible for their lives. But we all need to recognize that no matter how many obstacles we may have faced, others have faced more, and while it’s no excuse, it might just be at least a partial explanation, and true empathy mitigates a lot of anger and resentment.

But privilege is so much more than economic opportunity. I never have to worry about being looked at suspiciously when I walk into a store because of my race. I never have to worry about poor or no service at a restaurant because of my race. I never have to worry about getting pulled over by the police because I don’t “fit” in the neighborhood. The list goes on and on, the privilege, if you will, that I get simply by being white. That key component CANNOT, MUST NOT, be ignored.

So this Thanksgiving, like so many I’ve celebrated over the past decades, I choose to recognize my many blessings, with no resentment for those who may have had even more advantages, and empathy for the oh-so-many who had fewer, hope that I’ve done what I could to give back and share my blessings with those who have had a much more challenging race to run, and resolve to continue to do as much as I can, for as many as I can, as long as I can.

Here’s hoping that all who read this find their own blessings this Thanksgiving Day. Peace and love.

    * When I first posted this piece, two years ago, a number of my formers suggested (kindly, respectfully, but not in so many words) that I was perhaps being condescending, that for any number of reasons, but often to the credit of their parents, they did not feel underprivileged, and, although I notice now that I did not use that exact term, I understand that the word (or its implication) has a negative connotation; what I meant to suggest is that privilege, like prejudice, is a continuum, not solely an either/or proposition. At whatever level of privilege each of us started, it is our obligation to recognize that there are many who have had a more challenging story to live; they deserve not our sympathy, but our empathy. 

    Incidentally, IMO there are no adequate synonyms for empathy, which is why I kept repeating it.