Anger Management

A Thanksgiving Wish

I continue to be distressed by the tenor of what I see and hear, both on the news and on social media. No matter what asinine inanities emanate from his mouth, the perpetually pissed Donald Trump maintains his support among a disturbingly significant percentage of the population by playing on that anger. I would suggest, however, that he has plenty of company in almost all the candidates of both parties, even if they generally appear less bombastic and more soft-spoken (not much of a challenge IMO). 

Anger is also reflected in the many memes culled from Facebook, Twitter, and the myriad of other internet sources encouraging simple, dare I suggest simplistic, expressions of opinions. Even the purported humorous posts are too often predicated on a foundation of anger, political, racial, religious and more.

The thing is, I don’t see anger as being a solution to any problem. In fact, it interferes with the actual problem-solving process because it interferes with communication. Even if it may get your point across, at the same time it essentially attacks, and often insults, those who fail to agree with you.

I admit that in my early (allegedly) adult years I was not just a congregant at Our Lady of Righteous Indignation (OLRI), but also an evangelist, with some modicum of success even. Such an approach managed to work fairly well for the accumulation of power, but it was only after I backed away from that attitude and started working at accommodation and compromise that I actually became part of the solution team instead of a polarizing divider who exacerbated the problem(s).

Finding something to be angry about is not any particular challenge. We need look no further than the current Starbucks kerfuffle. The so-called “War on Christmas” is a fiction created and maintained by those who want to perpetuate anger at a direction of society that frightens them. That “war” is merely one front in the larger, and equally fictitious, “War on Christianity.” Or maybe even “War on Islam.” 

I admit to being naïve, but not so naïve that I deny that there are (too many of) those on the “other” side equally angry about the perceived intolerance of their beliefs, or even non-beliefs. And, of course, there is no shortage of (power hungry) potential leaders, also frequent flyers at OLRI, who can find a slight in almost anything, no matter how innocent an action or remark and then manipulate that slight to their advantage. Beware of such “leaders,” not just for your own sake but out of concern for the future of your country – and the world in which we all must live.

Our ongoing issues with race in this country feature people on both poles. Here's my question for them: “Is this a problem you want to, if not solve, at least ameliorate?” While I freely admit that racial animus has almost never been directed at me, I still maintain that anger is not your friend, or the friend of your cause, whatever cause that may be.

I understand frustration and discontent. I certainly experienced my share of both, back in the day (again, not racial, of course). Nor am I suggesting that those feelings be discounted or ignored by either allies or foes. But it is only human to react defensively when attacked, and anger directed at you or your friends is difficult to interpret as anything but an attack, even a personal one. Almost none of us are Mahatma Gandhi or Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., but I have no doubt that both of them had to work hard to suppress their (righteous and justifiable) anger, perhaps frequently. Nevertheless, they succeeded (slowly and incompletely, because problems of long-standing do not have simple, overnight solutions). How? They kept their anger under control and diverted the energy required to feed that non-productive emotion into building solutions instead of walls (both figurative and literal).

If more of us could find the strength to follow their model, that would truly be something for which to be thankful.