A Facebook Caveat Emptor -- True Story

A friend of mine supports Senator Sanders. Actually, more than one, but one in particular inspires this cautionary tale. (Because it’s irrelevant I’m going to obscure the friend’s gender by using the {newly accepted} “they” as I relate this to you.)

On their feed was posted a(n alleged) link to a Washington Examiner story claiming polls showed that only Bernie Sanders could defeat President Trump. My simple response, “You know the Examiner is a right wing source, yes?” In other words, like their hero, President Trump, the Examiner would prefer to have Senator Sanders as the opposition, and their polling source might have its own agenda. However, I don’t even know if the link was bona fide because I didn’t open it.

My friend responded later with a text, with these exact words: “Don’t know where that article came from, I don’t remember sharing it. Thanks for pointing it out!!!” Wow! You can’t even trust Facebook! (sarcasm, btw)

Those of you who actually vet or fact check your sources (and don’t just share memes and links that fit your world view) probably don’t need this warning, even if you are horrified by the anecdote, but be skeptical of EVERYTHING on Facebook. The poster may not even know what’s being published under their name – especially if it’s shared content from a third party, or a meme, or a link to or from a biased source.  Not only may it be untrue, it may not even come from the person who seemingly posted it. That there are bad actors out there spreading misinformation cannot be denied.

Random notes & observations inspired by the above:

• I don’t know a single Sanders supporter who wants free stuff. Not.a.single.one.

• Political parties care about one thing, and one thing only: power for the political party. Neither (none) holds the keys to either heaven or prosperity.

• While there was no perfect candidate, none of my top 3-4 choices on the Democrat side were probably ever really viable candidates, but….

• I would vote for the dish sponge we forgot to rinse out prior to our trip before the incumbent president, because with some effort, the dish sponge could be cleaned up, salvaged and made useful.

• It’s honestly difficult for this ex-English teacher to do the “they” thing, but I understand the rationale.

• Speaking of ex-English teachers, I know one who tried to teach his students that the adverb “very” was the product of a weak vocabulary or a lazy mind, and exemplified poor writing. Oh, wait, that was me (probably among others).

• Speaking of lazy, political memes are for those too lazy to express their own thoughts and ideas. Memes are, by definition, simplistic and misleading. Just.Stop.

Unfriended

I was recently “unfriended” by a former student, probably because I called her out on the use of what I consider to be an offensive, even hateful, divisive term, “libtard,” even though it was NOT personally directed at me. I wonder if she refers to mentally challenged people as “retards”? 

She was not the first to take this action (but please note, it was SHE who severed the relationship, such as it was, although I certainly implied an invitation for her to do so), perhaps won’t be the last. However, I have had numerous conversations with my right-tilting friends, and pride myself (and compliment them) on keeping the civil lines of communication open, making whatever points we want considered in a respectful manner. That is democratic thought and communication, a foundation of our country.

I’m not losing any sleep over this loss, but I have obviously given it some thought on my almost daily walks through the ‘hood. As a casual student of human nature, I now think about her and the decision she made with a combination of curiosity and sadness. My memory of this woman as a student is nothing but fond (and I knew her better than many, because she was a former softball player); I remember her with a perpetual smile on her face, friendly, kind, giggly, just a “nice kid” from a solid family.

Everyone’s life path is different and everyone faces different challenges and obstacles. But I wonder what happened to turn this seemingly cheerful optimist into such a (again, seemingly, judging solely on the torrent of FB posts and shares) bitter, angry person, almost filled with hate? It seems unlikely I will ever get an answer to this question (although I am still friends with her sister), but I hope she finds her own answers that will bring her peace. I doubt the outcome of this election or the political arena will do it for her, though.

Losing Friends While Influencing No One

So the field is set for the 2016 presidential election. The choirs and true believers in the full pews have all been preached to. The major parties have their candidates, the Libertarians threaten to become relevant, and even the Green Party may have the most influence since Ralph Nader cost Al Gore the presidency in 2000.

I do not care for whom you vote in November. That, of course, is not exactly true. I would obviously prefer that you vote for the same people as me, but I don’t expect that. Some of you will vote for Mr. Trump. The fact that I think he is dangerous and would put our country and economy at risk does NOT mean that I am right and you are stupid. People have their reasons for their candidate choices. I respect that their point of view is different from mine, that their situation is different from mine, that their history is different than mine. In short, I respect them as people.

I also respect everyone’s right to advocate for (or against) any candidate. I think that trying to influence the votes of others via Facebook memes, shares, reposts, retweets, etc. is fruitless, but hey, it’s your time and your life.

However, while I am not trying to accumulate or even maintain a particular number of Facebook friends, I am going to do my bit for civility. If the strategy I describe below culls the herd, so be it. There are even some I will be sad to lose, because I have warm feelings for them.

Nevertheless, if you post something that says, or even implies, that I am stupid or immoral or whatever, simply because I think differently than you, I am going to call you out. I will neither tolerate nor ignore that kind of disrespect and don’t need to have any connection with you. I will give you a (one) chance to retract or rethink, not your beliefs, but your approach. Because, again, I don’t care about your politics, but I do care about how you treat me (and others). 

I am not going to stalk those woodpecker strategy posters, who seem to believe that somehow their 45^th post of the day (hour?) will be the one that changes a mind. Nor am I looking for things that offend; quite frankly, that’s too easy a task, even for me at this stage of life. If a person wants to be offended, there’s plenty of, uh, stuff out there to accomplish that task. But if I see your post and it IS offensive, using the aforementioned criteria, I will no longer disregard it and hum the Frozen theme song, because then, in my mind, I am part of the problem of the growing incivility in politics and public discourse.

So, fair warning. If you get from me some variation of the following message: “Did you really intend to call me _____________ (stupid, immoral, evil, a libtard, unpatriotic, un-American, some other insult to be named later)? Because if you did, I don’t see how we can even be Facebook friends, and believe me, that’s a pretty low bar. I will take no response from you as an affirmative, that, ‘Yes, I really do think you are ________________,’ and act accordingly. I will also make my last post on your wall a notification of my action.” If you choose a proactive approach, that is up to you, but I would appreciate you telling me that you are choosing to “unfriend” me, so that I know why.