Hollow Victory — No Joy in Mudville

I suppose I should feel better about the 2020 presidential election outcome than I do. I really wish I could. After all, it was Trump who struck out (probably primarily because of his tendency to lash out).

As the process unfolded, I had one, and really only one, overriding concern – defeat the incumbent, a man so despicable that I’m repulsed to be lumped in the same gender category as him. 

He was, from my perspective, the worst president of my lifetime – 72 years, so, since Truman, although I obviously don’t have any real memories of HST other than his post-presidency, but I do read and know, have even taught, our nation’s history. In my view, no previous modern occupant of the White House comes even close.

While I think Trump was a bad president (again, the worst in my lifetime), he was a worse person, one who brought out the worst instincts in both his supporters and opponents, who enabled and encouraged white supremacists, who made even our friends abroad ask, “What the hell, America?” It will take a long time to rehabilitate our reputation abroad, to restore the trust and leadership that once was ours, to, pardon the expression, Make America Great Again. You can discount the opinions of your enemies, your rivals, but when friends and allies roll their eyes (Hello, Lincoln Project), you might want to rethink your choice. 

Donald.Trump.Is.A.Bad.Man.

Being anti-abortion doesn’t change that; he stands behind cruelty. Not that his supporters will likely believe them, but the revelations that will flow from the toxic waste dump that was his administration will probably surprise even me. To be clear, I don’t want to see him charged with any crimes (there’s little doubt in my mind that there are multiple legitimate possibilities). But then I also supported President Ford’s pardon of Richard Nixon. Because Ford put healing the country ahead of politics, he may have cost himself the election of 1976. I hope President-elect Biden pushes all the tempting revenge scenarios to the bottom of his (necessarily lengthy, thanks to his predecessor) agenda, and encourages states’ attorneys general and governors to do the same.

Nor does the failure of the mythical “Blue Wave” to materialize discourage me, although I would have welcomed it. And I have little hope that Mitch McConnell will be anything other than what he’s been for the past 10 years, a Machiavellian politician with a private agenda to recreate a 1950s America (which was probably pretty good for a straight, middle class, white male, considerably less so for most everyone else). So I am resigned to a miserable stretch of at least two years, maybe longer if the 2022 elections follow recent patterns,  but I’ve managed to survive charting new depths of despair for the past four years....

So what disturbs me most about this election? The one thing it absolutely proves is that 2016 wasn’t an aberration. I had hoped, a false hope it is now obvious, that 2016 was a visceral reaction to frustration with the state of the country, to feeling ignored and invisible, to feeling like a pawn to be sacrificed. I conjured up various explanations, based on my own observations, based on what I thought I knew about those who voted for him. You know, “fine people on both sides.” I worked to understand why some of those people, people I knew to be decent and honorable, voted for Despicable He. I excused, rationalized, tried to defend their decision. Most of the people I knew weren’t 5th Avenue Trumpists; they may have been fooled once, or were so antagonistic toward his opponent that they voted AGAINST her, but these were good people who would come to their senses after witnessing the bullying, lying, and aggressive ignorance that consistently characterized our 45th president.

2020 has made it obvious that, once again, I’m a hopeless optimist not grounded in reality. 2016 is who we are, because in 2020, HALF of the American voters wanted to return this not very bright, incompetent, vulgarian bully to the White House. The most (and, quite frankly, only) charitable explanation that I can come up with (but recognizing my own blinders) is partisan blindness, a belief that only one political party cares about the future (and only their vision of that future) of the country. Trump’s rejection by a majority of the voters is a small relief, but that so many wanted the opposite, that so many continue to defend him, does not make me hopeful in the slightest about the future USA in which my daughter and granddaughter will live.

What can I do? My first action: abandon any hope that maintaining even FB relationships with those outside my belief system might open their minds. That was a fruitless and frustrating 4-year endeavor. So I will leave them to their hyper-partisan echo chambers, their Fox News, PJ Media, Daily Caller, Daily Wire, Breitbart, InfoWars, etc., etc. If that’s where they choose to live, so be it, but I don’t have to visit or even walk past their house, because my presence clearly changes nothing except to make me feel worse. 2020 has been bad enough – I don’t need to get burned by adding fuel to a dumpster fire.

Even if I think I know, I will not ask about your vote. I am not actively looking to shed connections, but if you insist of posting stupid, insulting, political memes, repeating absurd conspiracy theories, or echoing Doomsday/End of the World prophecies, sheepling (bleating) the words of others instead of your own, well, I have better ways to waste my time and fill up my feed. Bye, Felicia.

Spirit of '76

There are some advantages to growing older (not the least of which is it beats the alternative), assuming you can remember them.

Remembering the past, for example. I’ve been involuntarily reminded recently (and frequently) of an attitude that prevailed for a while in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s as the nation was roiled by protests over the ill-fated Vietnam War and civil rights. Car bumper stickers sprouted like modern-day memes. “America, Love it or Leave it” is the one that comes to mind in light of modern day events. That ugly assumption, that if you have the temerity to criticize your country you must hate it, is making a resurgence. News commentators, social media posts and more are implying, if not outright yelling, that POV.

Why must everything be a zero-sum game, an all or nothing proposal, with both poles screeching at their opposites, and, worst of all, dismissing any valid points that get lost in the halitosis of the shouting? And what is MORE American, especially on the day celebrating our independence, than protesting? Tea Party anyone?

On this 4^thof July, before getting into snark, meme posting, or finger pointing, let’s apply the stink test to our thinking. Would I react the same way if the action or opinion came from my “team?” 

I saw a great t-shirt at the Pride Parade in St. Louis Sunday: “Be careful who you hate; it might be someone you love.” I think that applies on multiple levels.

No Fan of Big Buts

I’m not a fan of big buts, because “but” contradicts the initial premise. Have you ever heard, or perhaps even said:

• I’m not prejudiced but …

• I’m not a racist but …

• I’m not sexist but …

• I don’t want to hurt your feelings but …

• No offense but …

• I don’t have anything against gays but …

• I believe in freedom of religion but …

But… Wait for it …. You are now going to hear (or say) something prejudicial, racist, sexist, hurtful, offensive, homophobic, anti-Muslim, anti-Semitic, etc., etc., etc. So, in fact, whoever starts with that phrase is, in fact, what they just said they’re not.

The “Big But” is an easy trap to fall into, trying to deny reality when it’s inconvenient. We’ve all done it, although I hope not in exactly the ways described above. A disturbing number of people have used, and continue to use, the “easy way out” by sharing, liking, retweeting, etc. to express racist views. Most would, of course, deny being prejudiced; after all, they’re just nodding at or reposting something someone else said. 

Sorry, not sorry: if you endorse a position you are also, by extension, endorsing the person(s), for better or worse, who offered the opinion. You can’t take a single quote from Adolf Hitler (or Vladimir Putin) and pretend that nothing else he said or did matters.

Charlottesville is my Rubicon. I’ve tried hard, really hard, to give people the benefit of the doubt for the last year and a half. No more. Put me in coach, I’m ready to play. Appropriating an appropriate phrase, “Never again.” Because, when you say, “I’m not defending the Nazis but….” and it’s followed by deflecting to another group or minimizing criticism of those hateful people and groups, wait for it, YOU ARE DEFENDING NAZIS. No, there are no good Nazis, there are no good people who accept or associate with Nazis. Those who defend Nazis are Nazi collaborators and no better than Nazis themselves.

I’ll go even further. I will never again use the phrase “alt-right,” because it’s nothing more than a euphemism to sanitize evil. Instead I’m going for the more accurate phrase: “fucking Nazis.” Because that is what the alt-right is.

If you, in any way, defend the the bullies of the so-called alt-right, you dishonor my father who fought them in World War II and was wounded working to defeat that evil. You threaten people whom I hold dear and are part of my soul. You threaten society as we know it. If you defend, or rationalize, or mitigate evil, you, too, are evil and stained in the same way.

I will, tepidly, and fighting back nausea, defend your first amendment rights (as well as those who use those same rights trying to block or counter the hatred you spew – and should you show up in St. Louis, I will be there with them), but know this: you are a despicable human being and I won’t bat at an eye or lift a finger when karma pays you a biting visit. There is no big but. I’m done.

R•E•S•P•E•C•T

Donald J. Trump is now President of the United States. Once again our country has navigated a peaceful transition of power (despite dire predictions to the contrary by some who were certain, without evidence other than their own, dislike may be too mild a word, that President Obama and his “libtard” minions would somehow try to subvert the process). Please note, I am referring only to the official transition, not the actions of anarchists.

I have tried to be respectful, really I have. I know that I honestly do respect any number of individuals who voted for Mr. Trump because I respect their life accomplishments. I even understand, at least on an intellectual level, the frustrations that led to their decisions. Still, perhaps I did fail in that regard. Some have at least implied that. Some obviously took personally my expressed doubts about the new president and his fitness for the office he now occupies and translated that into personal disrespect. I must also admit, however, that perhaps my attempts at respect were superficial, masking my inability to understand with words, but no sincere feelings or empathy. I also admit I was often gritting my teeth as I typed and perhaps that came through.

It’s a conundrum. I respect the Office of the President of the U.S and will continue to do so. I will, I keep telling myself, give the office far more respect than so many people gave it during the Obama years. (I certainly won’t shout out “Liar” during a speech or make “ape” or other subtext racist references about the President or First Lady. I won’t criticize his appearance, his wife, or his children.) I will reserve my criticism for actions with which I disagree and not descend into personal attacks. The former is my right (and duty) as a citizen; the latter makes me no better than those who were so viciously partisan and personally despicable for the last eight years.

But I do not respect the man; I do not respect Donald J. Trump. It’s not about his beliefs (even if I could figure out what he really believes), nor is it about his plans for the country (whatever they are this week). I might disagree with those, but they don’t create any problems in terms of respect. I do not respect Donald Trump, the man, because he is not a good person. There is no evidence that he possesses any personal character traits that are admirable or that fit my core values of honesty, loyalty, integrity, respect or kindness. I have no respect for bullies. I find it ironic that the “party of personal responsibility” is being led by a man who never taken any personal responsibility for anything, who has never made a mistake, never apologized, never been at fault for any failure. I do not understand how any woman can be an ardent supporter (not the same as voting for him as the “lesser of two evils”). His demonstrated attitude toward women precludes any personal respect from me.

Nevertheless, it is now up to me to somehow navigate that narrow path between respect for the office vs. respect for the man. I am skeptical, but perhaps the office will (magically) imbue Mr. Trump with some new admirable personal traits that have been previously camouflaged or suppressed. I would love for that to be true and will try to stay alert to the possibility (however remote) that he will grow in office. I am more inclined, however, to adapt a golf adage, “The office doesn’t grow character, it reveals it.” But maybe I’ll be wrong and, if so, I am hopeful that I’ll be honest enough with myself to admit it if it happens. I truly do hope so.

Good luck President Trump. We will see what the future holds. May you truly inspire greatness for all our citizens.

Please note. My concerns are not for myself, not personal. They are for the country. As an affluent white male, I have no personal worries. In fact, I am more likely to personally benefit economically than so many who actually voted for him. Unless the entire country goes to hell (Trump haters’ concerns that we’re there already are overstated in my view), my family and I will be fine, no matter what kind of president he turns out to be. 

Uncivil War

Whichever of the two flawed candidates we elect, I fear that (s)he is incapable of healing our divided country. We may not see a “hot” civil war, but it seems to me that we are already in the middle of a “cold” civil war, with little, if any, prospect for healing the rifts that both political parties continue to exploit for their own power agendas. Our battered nation needs to heal, but, sadly, we will not be electing a leader who can bring that about.

I have zero hope that Hillary Clinton can unite the country should she win the presidency. She will want to be inclusive and talk about a united country. However, the wall between her and the citizenry, though not built by Donald Trump even if we are paying for it, is too big to scale; no matter how well she (and her speech writers) phrase it, a huge minority of the country not only won’t believe her, but will work to ensure that no one else does, either. I don’t see any way she can be an effective leader.

However, I have zero hope that Donald Trump even wants to bring the country together. He wants to rule the USA, but I’ve seen no evidence that he wants to lead it, to bring people together. (If there is any evidence to the contrary, I’d love to see it; it would ease my mind – a little.) As near as I’ve been able to determine, based on his campaign, his supporters, and his statements, his goal is to bully anyone who disagrees with him into compliance. Should he win the election (a distinct possibility that terrifies me), I see only increased division and animosity as he attacks and scapegoats those who disagree with him.

I’ve probably become a broken record (“Mom, what’s a record?”); I will expect the worst and hope for the best, supporting the country and the office of the president, no matter who is in it. I’ll be curious to see if any members of the Trumpet section agree to play that tune or just continue to contribute the cacophony of division. Time will tell.