I've liked the stage production of Les Misérables for a long time (although I haven't always appreciated the attempts to freshen it up in succeeding productions), so I was looking forward to the movie version. Here's a mini-review by someone who doesn't do this for a living, but has seen his fair share of Broadway musicals and movie adaptations.
Carolyn and I enjoyed it. I guess critics aren't jumping up and down, but it is, after all, a musical, and an iconic one at that, and critics seldom jump up and down, except in little fits of pique, about movie musicals. It was an enjoyable evening with mostly solid to outstanding performances.
Russell Crowe was better than I expected, pretty good and certainly better than some critical reviewers gave (or denied) him credit for. Hugh Jackman was fine, better as his character aged (his convict period didn't do much for me). I wanted to give Anne Hathaway (Fantine) a standing ovation, despite being in a crowded theater. Amanda Seyfried has a beautiful voice and Samantha Barks made a great Eponine. The boys, Marius (Eddie Redmayne) and Enjolrus (Aaron Tveit) were both strong. Helena Bonham Carter was very good as Madame Thénardier and paired well with a decent Sacha Baron Cohen. I never bought the kid who played Gavroche (Daniel Huttlestone), but maybe that's me.
I do wonder if they couldn't have improved the male roles, especially, with less well-known actors, but that's a quibble and wasn't as distracting as you might think, although I always knew I was watching Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe. They never transformed into their characters like Anne Hathaway and the other female actors did.
Wednesday, December 26, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Happy Holidays One & All
Holiday Newsletter, Volume
XIV December, 2012
Happy Holidays to
one and all as we ring out 2012 and look forward to 2013. Time continues to
pass quickly and we’re thankful for each day and our many blessings of health,
friends & family.
I was flattered that the Saul
Mirowitz Jewish Community School (SMJCS) worked hard to manipulate my schedule
to make it possible for me to continue coaching softball at Webster (where the
varsity finished with a 23-2 record and a top 10 ranking in the area; the JV
had a good year, too). I’m teaching a combination 6-7 humanities (English and
history) class, plus numerous multi-grade (6-8) social studies and language
arts electives, almost a full-time job. SMJCS is optimistic that we’ll have an
even larger middle school next year, but I’m hopeful that I can get a little
less time-intensive schedule.
Our health is good and we continue to
enjoy evenings at the Fox and the Rep. Carolyn is especially happy with the
newly renovated WG Library so she can keep supplied with books. Our annual
summer stay on the Gulf Beaches was sandwiched around an exhausting four days
at Disney World, with a full agenda planned by Becca. We look forward to a
briefer visit next summer as we check off items on her ever-expanding list of
desired attractions and events.
Carolyn treasures
her time with Becca, usually picking her up three days a week after school. I
get home as soon as I can. We love being able to watch her grow. Becca started
kindergarten at TCS (The College School) and it’s been a good fit for her.
There was one minor incident that required a communication from her teacher;
when Nicci tried to discuss it with her the next day, Becca said, “I know Mom,
I already read the e-mail.”
Carolyn now uses her
iPad and e-mail regularly. Both of us are on Facebook, or you can e-mail us at csb8870@yahoo.com or
bobberndt@charter.net. I continue to blog and post sporadically at a new location (which you've obviously found if you're reading this): bobberndt.blogspot.com; peruse at your peril.
Ben’s job at Centene as a software
security engineer is going well (and while he's handy, that's NOT him at left), with ever increasing responsibilities. Nicci
continues to work part-time at a friend and former colleague’s UPS store, which
works out well for all. Her RA is occasionally problematical, but she soldiers
on. She is active at The College School and with Girl Scouts for Becca.
My dad died in April at 91 after a
long period of grief over my mother. His health declined rapidly in the Fall
and Winter as he bounced between the Health Center, the ER at St. Anthony’s and
the apartment into which he moved from his cottage in January. He never quite
accepted his contributions to his sons and our families, but we will all
remember and appreciate him.
We are truly blessed. Please accept our
best wishes for healthy and happy 2012. Peace, Shalom, Salaam.
Thursday, December 20, 2012
On Guns & Safety
For obvious reasons, the issue of guns, regulation, availability,
safety, etc. has reared its head (again) and demanded our attention
(again).
Disclaimer: I belong to a minority so small we don’t even have a support group: American males who have never fired a gun (not even a BB gun). Neither do I feel particularly deprived, either culturally or emotionally, by my utter lack of experience in this area. Clearly I don’t have any skin in the game of gun rights, so it’s easy for me to come down on the side of increased regulation. And I recognize I’m wading into (for me) uncharted and dangerous waters, almost certainly outgunned.
Disclaimer: I belong to a minority so small we don’t even have a support group: American males who have never fired a gun (not even a BB gun). Neither do I feel particularly deprived, either culturally or emotionally, by my utter lack of experience in this area. Clearly I don’t have any skin in the game of gun rights, so it’s easy for me to come down on the side of increased regulation. And I recognize I’m wading into (for me) uncharted and dangerous waters, almost certainly outgunned.
That being said, I have some questions
that (to me) are based on logic about guns in the home. I understand
how people believe they are needed for the protection of family,
hearth and home. But if you have children in the home, surely you
keep your guns locked away, preferably with a trigger lock, and
unloaded. (One experience I do have, sadly, very sadly, is attending
the funeral of a child who was accidentally killed with his father’s
handgun. It was over a decade ago and the family has yet to recover. He
was a good kid, just a teenager showing his Dad’s gun to a friend.)
Aren’t those the recommended safety procedures? Isn’t that why they
sell gun safes at Cabella’s?
So my question is this: In the event of
a home invasion of some kind, how much protection is this weapon?
Under the stress of the moment, you’d have to retrieve your weapon,
load it, unlock it and then accurately fire at the intruder(s) who
probably make their living as armed criminals and also probably are
in close proximity to your family. I prefer my odds with submission
to almost any and all demands. Maybe you don’t, and my (serious)
question is this, given the parameters laid out above (safe storage
of firearms), how much help is this weapon, especially if, while
you’ve been retrieving your weapon, your family is literally under
the gun?
Admittedly I don’t live in a
neighborhood where there have been lots of home invasions, or even
burglaries. Quite frankly, neither do most of you, but never mind that. I
do have an alarm system. But I don’t believe I can do much beyond
that precaution that wouldn’t endanger my family more than protect it. Again, I
admit that giving me a firearm of any stripe would make more of a
danger to myself and loved ones than to any professional (or probably
even amateur) criminal. It seems to me that the odds of an accident
(I have a decorated police officer friend who shot his dishwasher,
although not fatally) are better than the odds of thwarting an armed
intruder. If their goal is my destruction, I don't like my chances,
armed or not. If their goal is my property, they’re welcome to it.
Let me be clear.
I am NOT trying to take away anyone’s right to own weapons for
protection or recreation. I’m a realist, and while no guns in
anyone’s house wouldn’t bother me, I recognize that there’s zero
chance of that happening in America, although I’ve yet to hear a
convincing argument for the right to own assault weapons or extended
cartridges (if that’s the proper terminology). However, neither am
I convinced that turning your home into an armed fortress is really a
reasonable or, more importantly, safe, alternative.
It probably goes without saying I’m not
a fan of arming teachers, although it might have the unintended
consequence of improving classroom discipline. I’m pretty sure just
drawing the weapon would quiet a class pretty quickly. As noted, I’m
a realist, so I’m under no illusion that I’m going to change anyone’s mind
on the issue, but I do think I’ve posed a reasonable question. I’d like to hear reasonable answers.
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Berndt's Rules o' Life, 2.0
I've transferred my blogs from my old site to this new one. The old bobberndt.multiply.com is no longer accessible. In any case, I can't just not write and share my thoughts, whether they're welcome or not.
Although I may have borrowed ideas from others, the phrasing, for the most part, (except #21) is my own.
I think this list is nearing an upgrade....
Although I may have borrowed ideas from others, the phrasing, for the most part, (except #21) is my own.
I think this list is nearing an upgrade....
| 1 | You don't get a discount on the Happy Meal just because you're not…. |
| 2 | Being "right" is over-rated…. |
| 3 | Love increases in direct proportion to usage. |
| 4 | Better to ask forgiveness than permission. |
| 5 | Find satisfaction in achieving the best result possible
instead of frustration over failing to achieve the best possible result. |
| 6 | There's no "undo key" for life. |
| 7 | Don't worry about what other people think about you, because,
in fact, they're not really thinking about you. |
| 8 | Most people are capable of redemption, but only if you allow it. |
| 9 | If one sincere apology isn't enough, forgiveness isn't really
on the agenda (Okay, maybe two). |
| 10 | Life is a marathon, not a sprint. |
| 11 | Just because you don't like the answer doesn't make it wrong. |
| 12 | Being correct and being wrong are NOT mutually exclusive. |
| 13 | If you're both the host and guest of honor at a Pity Party, don't expect a large turnout. |
| 14 | Although your body offers numerous hints, it's when your mind
stops growing that marks the beginning of the end. |
| 15 | You never know the limits of your reach until you fall on your face. |
| 16 | Go where you're invited, stay away from where you're not. |
| 17 | If you can't like yourself, what's the point for anyone else? |
| 18 | Be a good audience. |
| 19 | Admitting that you are/were wrong is both cathartic and liberating. |
| 20 | If you can never be satisfied, don't be surprised when people stop trying. |
| 21 | Wherever you go, there you are.* |
| 22 | It's just so much easier to tell the truth in the first place. |
| 23 | Stereotyping victimizes both the typee and typer. |
| 24 | Just because you agree with me doesn't mean I'm right. ** |
| 25 | If you insist on seeing the glass half-empty (or less), don't
be surprised if someone just drinks the rest. |
| 26 | The loudest voice has no more claim to truth than the softest. |
| 27 | It's way easier to fix the flaws in others than deal with your own. |
| 28 | You can always find something to complain about, but I'm not sure how that's helpful to anyone. |
| 29 | People will generally live up to or down to your expectations. |
| 30 | If you want to make a fresh start, it will require more than a change in location. |
| 31 | If you've never offended anyone, it's likely you've never said
or done anything worth thinking about. |
| 32 | If someone really wants your advice or opinion, they'll ask. |
| 33 | Hey, if you're going to nurse a grudge, at least make it over something life-altering. |
| 34 | Pay yourself first. |
| 35 | You're welcome to borrow or revise any of these, but you're
better off with your own list; it is, after all, YOUR life. |
| 36 | Always leave room for one more…. |
| *Apparently stolen from Confucius. Who knew? I thought I was using something from "Buckaroo Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension." | |
| **The converse is also true. |
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Political Ads
| Political Ads | for everyone |
I'm almost glad that Missouri and Illinois aren't in play. At least we're not being inundated with all the SuperPAC and party ads like they are in Florida. But we still have a week to go until the primary and then we'll be inundated with senate and statewide office drivel.
I know lots of people are threatening to leave the country if Candidate X wins/loses. I think I'd like to file and absentee ballot, then leave the country UNTIL Candidate X wins/loses. But since that won't happen, I'm just going to remain grateful for DVR and the USB connection in my car.
I know lots of people are threatening to leave the country if Candidate X wins/loses. I think I'd like to file and absentee ballot, then leave the country UNTIL Candidate X wins/loses. But since that won't happen, I'm just going to remain grateful for DVR and the USB connection in my car.
Going Straight for Curmudgeon
| Going Straight for Curmudgeon | for everyone |
I think I'll just skip the Codger stage and go straight to Curmudgeon....
Like most men (probably most people, but men especially) I admit I'm not nearly as good a driver as I think I am. I also concede that I'm only the second best driver in my household (I moved up in the rankings when Nicci moved out on her own). Still....
Is it just me, or should people realize that reading a text while they drive constitutes "texting while driving"? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and the driver was being careful not to drop her ashes in her lap as she was driving with her head down. And after being passed on the right by six different drivers, she did move out of the left-hand lane (I'm pretty sure it was a deliberate change despite the lack of a blinker).
But maybe I'm just being cranky.... Blame it on the heat and old age.
Like most men (probably most people, but men especially) I admit I'm not nearly as good a driver as I think I am. I also concede that I'm only the second best driver in my household (I moved up in the rankings when Nicci moved out on her own). Still....
Is it just me, or should people realize that reading a text while they drive constitutes "texting while driving"? I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, and the driver was being careful not to drop her ashes in her lap as she was driving with her head down. And after being passed on the right by six different drivers, she did move out of the left-hand lane (I'm pretty sure it was a deliberate change despite the lack of a blinker).
But maybe I'm just being cranky.... Blame it on the heat and old age.
Random Thoughts on the SCOTUS Ruling
| Random Thoughts on the SCOTUS Ruling | for everyone |
The Supreme Court's ruling on the health care reform package (if you insist on using "Obamacare, know that I've already stopped listening, because you're probably not going to make any effort at being rational) is neither the end, the beginning, nor the beginning of the end... ...of anything. It's just one more event (a significant one, I agree) in the continuing history of the United States of America.
I will confess that I was pleasantly surprised that Chief Justice Roberts apparently kept the promise he made during his confirmation hearings, to not let partisanship dictate his decisions. I say pleasantly surprised because, until this week, I had not seen (from my admittedly biased viewpoint) much evidence of that promise. Maybe he'll become the next Earl Warren, the Republican Chief Justice who also inspired cries of traitor and calls for impeachment when he stood up for principle over partisanship, for the rights of all citizens, in orchestrating the overturn of Plessy v. Ferguson (Separate but Equal) in 1954 (Brown v. Board).
The ignorance surrounding the process worries me, but I'm not an alarmist; we've been overcoming ignorance in our species for a long time and I expect that progress to continue (if not, everyone on the planet is doomed and all this is irrelevant). Still, all the people shouting and carrying signs outside the Supreme Court begs a few questions. Did those people take vacation or personal days for this? Did they not understand that this decision has been being negotiated and written for weeks, that their shouting, "Strike It Down!" or "Save our Healthcare" is kind of like telling the train to stop when it's two feet away from your face. If they want to protest (or celebrate) now, okay, I get that. But the morning before the decision was announced?!?
And what about the people who claim that they are going to "move to Canada" in protest -- Canada with single payer socialized medicine (of which the vast majority of Canadians are very fond), Canada with universally recognized gay marriage, Canada with virtually no restriction on abortions.... Okay. http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare
Republicans say they plan to use the upcoming decision to energize the people who already hate President Obama and were going to vote against him anyway. They might be successful. After all, they've convinced those same people that an idea they touted (individual mandate was a Republican (not just Romney's) proposal) is now a terrible idea because it was adapted and adopted by a Democrat.
But it doesn't matter. Governor Romney is promising to repeal "Obamacare" if elected. Good luck with that. Do you really think he's going to propose no longer covering pre-existing conditions? Kicking off students still living with their parents? Eliminating guaranteed health insurance? Increasing prescription costs for seniors? At the same time he is trying to balance the budget and cut the deficit, is he really going to tell people they don't have to take responsibility for paying their share for health care, to go ahead and run up the costs and freeload off the rest of us who pay premiums, that they don't have to pay this "tax"?
If elected, President Romney may very well change some parts of the bill; that may not even be all bad. Surely there are numerous ways it can be improved. But I doubt that we will ever go back to health care as a privilege of the haves instead of a right for all. So, even if you're an ardent supporter of President Obama and the health care reform bill as it was written, you need not worry about going back to Square One if Romney wins the election. And if "Obamacare" makes you cringe and fear the end of our society as we know it, you're going to be disappointed.The country has taken two steps (I think) forward (you may think backward, it doesn't matter); we may next take one or even one and half steps in the opposite direction, but it won't be, can't be, two steps. That's not the way it works.
Study our history (a novel concept, I know). That is the way we've been going, pretty successfully, for a couple centuries plus now. Steps forward, steps backward, steps to the side. Getting to where we are today as a country hasn't been a smooth journey; it won't be a smooth journey in the years ahead. There are problems remaining to be solved and new problems on the horizon. Some of our solutions to those problems will, undoubtedly, create new problems. That is our history; it will be our future.
I will confess that I was pleasantly surprised that Chief Justice Roberts apparently kept the promise he made during his confirmation hearings, to not let partisanship dictate his decisions. I say pleasantly surprised because, until this week, I had not seen (from my admittedly biased viewpoint) much evidence of that promise. Maybe he'll become the next Earl Warren, the Republican Chief Justice who also inspired cries of traitor and calls for impeachment when he stood up for principle over partisanship, for the rights of all citizens, in orchestrating the overturn of Plessy v. Ferguson (Separate but Equal) in 1954 (Brown v. Board).
The ignorance surrounding the process worries me, but I'm not an alarmist; we've been overcoming ignorance in our species for a long time and I expect that progress to continue (if not, everyone on the planet is doomed and all this is irrelevant). Still, all the people shouting and carrying signs outside the Supreme Court begs a few questions. Did those people take vacation or personal days for this? Did they not understand that this decision has been being negotiated and written for weeks, that their shouting, "Strike It Down!" or "Save our Healthcare" is kind of like telling the train to stop when it's two feet away from your face. If they want to protest (or celebrate) now, okay, I get that. But the morning before the decision was announced?!?
And what about the people who claim that they are going to "move to Canada" in protest -- Canada with single payer socialized medicine (of which the vast majority of Canadians are very fond), Canada with universally recognized gay marriage, Canada with virtually no restriction on abortions.... Okay. http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/people-moving-to-canada-because-of-obamacare
Republicans say they plan to use the upcoming decision to energize the people who already hate President Obama and were going to vote against him anyway. They might be successful. After all, they've convinced those same people that an idea they touted (individual mandate was a Republican (not just Romney's) proposal) is now a terrible idea because it was adapted and adopted by a Democrat.
But it doesn't matter. Governor Romney is promising to repeal "Obamacare" if elected. Good luck with that. Do you really think he's going to propose no longer covering pre-existing conditions? Kicking off students still living with their parents? Eliminating guaranteed health insurance? Increasing prescription costs for seniors? At the same time he is trying to balance the budget and cut the deficit, is he really going to tell people they don't have to take responsibility for paying their share for health care, to go ahead and run up the costs and freeload off the rest of us who pay premiums, that they don't have to pay this "tax"?
If elected, President Romney may very well change some parts of the bill; that may not even be all bad. Surely there are numerous ways it can be improved. But I doubt that we will ever go back to health care as a privilege of the haves instead of a right for all. So, even if you're an ardent supporter of President Obama and the health care reform bill as it was written, you need not worry about going back to Square One if Romney wins the election. And if "Obamacare" makes you cringe and fear the end of our society as we know it, you're going to be disappointed.The country has taken two steps (I think) forward (you may think backward, it doesn't matter); we may next take one or even one and half steps in the opposite direction, but it won't be, can't be, two steps. That's not the way it works.
Study our history (a novel concept, I know). That is the way we've been going, pretty successfully, for a couple centuries plus now. Steps forward, steps backward, steps to the side. Getting to where we are today as a country hasn't been a smooth journey; it won't be a smooth journey in the years ahead. There are problems remaining to be solved and new problems on the horizon. Some of our solutions to those problems will, undoubtedly, create new problems. That is our history; it will be our future.
But I believe Douglas Adams (Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy) had it right: "Don't panic."
Please, no more "reaching out"
| Please, no more "reaching out." | for everyone |
If I get one more e-mail or phone call with someone “reaching out” to me, I hereby declare that I cannot be held responsible for any violence that may result from people trying to reach out to me. I may just reach back and you may not like the result. If you’re on a jury, that expression should qualify as a “justification defense.”
I’ve had so many people reach out to me in the last six weeks as I deal with the paperwork for my father's death that I feel like a tourist in a Calcutta slum. The worst part is that all these “reachers” are mostly letting me know that there’s really nothing they can do to improve the situation or fix whatever problem it is that they’re reaching out to me about. Still, they continue to reach with their empty phraseology.
I mostly wish they’d keep their hands to themselves. Isn’t that something we try to teach in elementary school? So, whoever is in charge of buzz words of the month, please be advised that the shelf life of “reaching out” is over, the expiration date long past, the expression green, slimy and far more annoying than comforting.
Okay, I feel a little better now. It’s the weekend and I don’t expect anyone to reach out to me until Monday, so they might just be able to withdraw their hand before I chop it off!
It's Silly Season Time
| It's Silly Season Time | for everyone |
I'm under no illusions that this will change anyone's behavior or mind. In fact, that's sort of my theme here. I'm just going on the record.
Political advertising season is upon us, providing profits for all kinds of media (including, ironically, the so-called "mainstream" media, which will, at least occasionally, be the target of the ads they get paid to run). It is the time of year when I give thanks for DVR and a direct connection to my iPod in my car.
Despite what the polls say, there are really very few undecided voters, at least as far as the presidential election is concerned. (Try reading Isaac Asimov's classic short story, Franchise.) Those who lean toward the incumbent will find some excuse to vote for him, or at least against the challenger, and vice versa. I know it's a waste of time to suggest this, but if you think your Facebook post, tweet, etc. is going to change anyone's mind, you're dreaming. And really, do we want the leader of our country elected by people who are swayed by some snarky picture or comment on Facebook or Twitter?
So please, if you're tempted to share some ideologue's anti-Obama (or anti-Romney) rant, if you think there are simple, easy, bumper sticker answers to our nation's and the world's problems, or that only liberals (or conservatives) have THE answers, please, for all our sakes, think twice, back away from your keyboard, take a deep breath and let it go. You already know what you believe. Do you really think your re-post is going to provide the ultimate evidence to bring that final vote your candidate or party needs into your column? Really?
Sigh. Okay, go ahead and pollute the conversation stream the same way PACs (and candidates) are polluting the airwaves. It's not like the level of discourse on Facebook isn't already of marginal value, although it's at least generally more civil than the comments section of most articles. (Chalk one up for the lack of anonymity, if not proximity.)
So, if it makes you feel better, if you need random acquaintances to know where you stand (your friends already know, don't you think?), knock yourself out, but don't delude yourself that you're changing anyone's mind, any more than someone on the other side's comment would change yours. Or that this will keep anyone from posting their political rant on Facebook.
Political advertising season is upon us, providing profits for all kinds of media (including, ironically, the so-called "mainstream" media, which will, at least occasionally, be the target of the ads they get paid to run). It is the time of year when I give thanks for DVR and a direct connection to my iPod in my car.
Despite what the polls say, there are really very few undecided voters, at least as far as the presidential election is concerned. (Try reading Isaac Asimov's classic short story, Franchise.) Those who lean toward the incumbent will find some excuse to vote for him, or at least against the challenger, and vice versa. I know it's a waste of time to suggest this, but if you think your Facebook post, tweet, etc. is going to change anyone's mind, you're dreaming. And really, do we want the leader of our country elected by people who are swayed by some snarky picture or comment on Facebook or Twitter?
So please, if you're tempted to share some ideologue's anti-Obama (or anti-Romney) rant, if you think there are simple, easy, bumper sticker answers to our nation's and the world's problems, or that only liberals (or conservatives) have THE answers, please, for all our sakes, think twice, back away from your keyboard, take a deep breath and let it go. You already know what you believe. Do you really think your re-post is going to provide the ultimate evidence to bring that final vote your candidate or party needs into your column? Really?
Sigh. Okay, go ahead and pollute the conversation stream the same way PACs (and candidates) are polluting the airwaves. It's not like the level of discourse on Facebook isn't already of marginal value, although it's at least generally more civil than the comments section of most articles. (Chalk one up for the lack of anonymity, if not proximity.)
So, if it makes you feel better, if you need random acquaintances to know where you stand (your friends already know, don't you think?), knock yourself out, but don't delude yourself that you're changing anyone's mind, any more than someone on the other side's comment would change yours. Or that this will keep anyone from posting their political rant on Facebook.
The Workplace as Family
| The Workplace as Family | for everyone |
Five years ago the people that passed for administrators in Hancock Place broke my heart, dumping me, essentially forcing on me an unwanted divorce, closing the door on an extended family that I loved and to whom I had devoted 37 years of my life. I despaired of ever feeling that way again. Those who have suffered a broken heart can understand the wariness I felt about committing myself on that level again, opening myself up once again to the potential pain.
The love and support that I received from my new family at Schechter/Mirowitz on the death of my father has been overwhelming. Students, colleagues, parents, all have offered genuine condolences and expressions of sympathy that have made a difficult time less traumatic and painful. Even more important to me, they also helped ease the leftover hurt lingering from my departure from Hancock.
But I must also recognize my Hancock family, which was just as fabulous. I'm talking about my real Hancock family, not the now departed "leaders," but all the friends and formers from those many years I spent at "The Place." I was just as overwhelmed and thankful for all the good wishes sent my way from those whose lives I had intersected many years ago.
Now it's my turn; the carnage from the merger of SSDS & RJA to create the newly badged SMJCS (Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School -- I swear if we create any more acronyms we're going to have to expand the alphabet) has broken the hearts of some of those new friends and colleagues, my new family. I hope, as one who has walked in similar if not identical shoes, that I have been able to help them cope in their own grieving process, knowing that someone else gets their pain. I've witnessed the same stages of grief I experienced five years ago and my heart aches for good people whose institutional memory was both a threat and undervalued.
Just as I have experienced the relationship of a new family workplace (as well as support from many in the old one), I am honored with the task of extending that love and friendship to them as they move on. My wish for them is that they will find, as I have, a new home where they can feel appreciated and loved. They certainly deserve at least that.
The love and support that I received from my new family at Schechter/Mirowitz on the death of my father has been overwhelming. Students, colleagues, parents, all have offered genuine condolences and expressions of sympathy that have made a difficult time less traumatic and painful. Even more important to me, they also helped ease the leftover hurt lingering from my departure from Hancock.
But I must also recognize my Hancock family, which was just as fabulous. I'm talking about my real Hancock family, not the now departed "leaders," but all the friends and formers from those many years I spent at "The Place." I was just as overwhelmed and thankful for all the good wishes sent my way from those whose lives I had intersected many years ago.
Now it's my turn; the carnage from the merger of SSDS & RJA to create the newly badged SMJCS (Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School -- I swear if we create any more acronyms we're going to have to expand the alphabet) has broken the hearts of some of those new friends and colleagues, my new family. I hope, as one who has walked in similar if not identical shoes, that I have been able to help them cope in their own grieving process, knowing that someone else gets their pain. I've witnessed the same stages of grief I experienced five years ago and my heart aches for good people whose institutional memory was both a threat and undervalued.
Just as I have experienced the relationship of a new family workplace (as well as support from many in the old one), I am honored with the task of extending that love and friendship to them as they move on. My wish for them is that they will find, as I have, a new home where they can feel appreciated and loved. They certainly deserve at least that.
The Last Puritan
| The Last Puritan | for everyone |
On Wednesday, April 11, we enrolled my Dad in hospice. This would be sadder if he were happier.
My father is a good man, an honorable man, a responsible man, a modest man (probably a true hero, with multiple decorations from World War II where he served, among other places, at the Battle of the Bulge; he never wanted to talk much about the war, especially his role in it). But if he found any joy in life, any contentment, any peace, I missed it. He was always more focused on his duties and responsibilities, doing what he thought and believed was expected of him.
He took pride in his work and career, spent almost entirely with Monsanto, back in the day when people loyally worked for one company their entire careers. (For those of us who bemoan the fact that companies no longer seem to value their long-term employees, maybe there was evidence of what was to become when he was essentially pushed out the door and into retirement at a time when he felt he still had something to offer besides his unwavering commitment to Monsanto.) Perhaps he even took pleasure in the time he spent at work. Still, I’m not convinced that even his work was much more than duty, another job to be done with pride and as well as he could.
The point of this is not to generate pity for either him nor or any of us, especially me. When my Mom died, I was sad for her because I felt, for the first time, in those last few months, that she had finally discovered the joy of unconditional love, especially the joy of giving it. It came almost too late, but I’d have been even sadder for her had she died without ever experiencing those feelings; my sadness now is only that she had so few months to share that joy. I’m sad for my father because, if I'm right, I’m afraid he’ll die without knowing those feelings at all.
This is a man who once told me, “Happiness is over-rated.” I’m sure he believed that. I know that I just confused him with my “joie de vivre.” He never understood how I could think the way I do, see life the way I do. And every effort I made to explain it fell on deaf ears and a closed mind, hardly fertile soil for any kind of epiphany. He was incapable of truly appreciating the remarkable life he had. Intellectually, he knew it, of course. He understood that he was his own American success story, putting himself through college, establishing a career, firmly entrenching himself in the middle class, and passing those advantages to his four sons.
He knew he was blessed, but emotionally, he couldn’t feel it, couldn’t savor it, much less enjoy it. He was a Methodist, but there, too, I found no evidence that his faith and religion brought him any peace or contentment. Really, he was a Puritan, judging his life, and those around him, in the stark colors of black and white (even shades of grey made him uncomfortable), with everyone (himself included) always failing to measure up. So focused was he on flaws (his own and others) that he could neither accept nor understand those who saw life painted with a brighter palette. The concept of love that works for me requires those multiple colors because it requires we accept others and ourselves as we are, with all of our flaws and strengths and joys balancing each other as part of a vibrant picture.
As I sit here, thinking about watching him struggle to draw his last breaths, I am thankful for the advantages he gave me, the love he tried so hard to understand and give but could not accept. I think he knows that I offered it. I hope that’s enough. I guess it will have to be.
Greetings of the Season to All
| Greetings of the Season to All | for everyone |
Because not everyone here or on Facebook gets the annual holiday newsletter, I have taken to posting it here a day or two after it is mailed. Sorry, no holiday graphics.
Holiday Newsletter, Volume XIII December, 2011
We celebrated a delayed 40th anniversary last Spring with a cruise that included NASA, Charleston, Bermuda and the Bahamas. We continue to enjoy our annual summer stay on the Gulf Beaches and look forward to returning to Disney World for Becca’s second visit. Our little Energizer Bunny kept going until she fell asleep on my head as we made our way to the entrance after one last ride. Her only complaint: she thought the tram lines to the parking lots at the end of the evening should have a “fast-pass” option!
My job shifted as I was demoted(?) and have both the 6th grade classes but no 8th graders. As of January 1, 2012 I will no longer be an employee of Solomon Schechter Day School (SSDS); rather, I’ll teach at the Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School (SSJCS), the result of a merger between the conservative affiliated Schechter and the Reform Jewish Academy. It’s kind of a nominal change until next school year when RJA students join our building. If my math is correct (but I teach English and social studies, 2 periods of each, plus advise yet another yearbook, so don’t count on that skill), next year I will be working for my 14th principal as I enter the second year of my fifth decade in teaching. Whew! But I’m still learning and having fun, so....
I continue to coach softball at Webster, where we won our first district championship in 30 years. I have no plans to give that up until my body tells me it’s time (the message probably delivered by a softball I can no longer deflect or duck). The anti-jock has now been coaching over a quarter of a century.
Ben recently changed jobs and is working for Centene as a software security engineer; it’s a much closer drive to Clayton than Scott AFB and he’s excited about this new opportunity; his previous contractor lost its bid at Scott, but his skills were in high demand so he was able to make the transition seamlessly, despite the economy.
Nicci continues to work part-time at a friend and former colleague’s UPS store, which works out well for all. Her RA is occasionally problematical, but she soldiers on. She serves as Room Mother at The College School for Becca who attends three full days a week. It’s hard to believe she’ll be in Kindergarten next year.
We are truly blessed. Please accept our best wishes for healthy and happy 2012. Peace, Shalom, Salaam.
Holiday Newsletter, Volume XIII December, 2011
Lucky 13! Thus begins the 13th Annual Holiday Newsletter, the summary of 2011 that will soon be in the books. Time continues to pass quickly and we’re thankful for each day.
We celebrated a delayed 40th anniversary last Spring with a cruise that included NASA, Charleston, Bermuda and the Bahamas. We continue to enjoy our annual summer stay on the Gulf Beaches and look forward to returning to Disney World for Becca’s second visit. Our little Energizer Bunny kept going until she fell asleep on my head as we made our way to the entrance after one last ride. Her only complaint: she thought the tram lines to the parking lots at the end of the evening should have a “fast-pass” option!My job shifted as I was demoted(?) and have both the 6th grade classes but no 8th graders. As of January 1, 2012 I will no longer be an employee of Solomon Schechter Day School (SSDS); rather, I’ll teach at the Saul Mirowitz Jewish Community School (SSJCS), the result of a merger between the conservative affiliated Schechter and the Reform Jewish Academy. It’s kind of a nominal change until next school year when RJA students join our building. If my math is correct (but I teach English and social studies, 2 periods of each, plus advise yet another yearbook, so don’t count on that skill), next year I will be working for my 14th principal as I enter the second year of my fifth decade in teaching. Whew! But I’m still learning and having fun, so....I continue to coach softball at Webster, where we won our first district championship in 30 years. I have no plans to give that up until my body tells me it’s time (the message probably delivered by a softball I can no longer deflect or duck). The anti-jock has now been coaching over a quarter of a century.
Carolyn treasures her time with Becca, as do I, even if it's more limited--the downside of continuing my career. We love being able to watch her grow. Carolyn also is adding to her iPad skills and is even talking about moving to a laptop (as the rest of the world moves to tablets). You can find both of us on Facebook or e-mail her at csb8870@yahoo.com. I continue to blog and post sporadically at bobberndt.multiply.com; peruse at your peril.
Ben recently changed jobs and is working for Centene as a software security engineer; it’s a much closer drive to Clayton than Scott AFB and he’s excited about this new opportunity; his previous contractor lost its bid at Scott, but his skills were in high demand so he was able to make the transition seamlessly, despite the economy.Nicci continues to work part-time at a friend and former colleague’s UPS store, which works out well for all. Her RA is occasionally problematical, but she soldiers on. She serves as Room Mother at The College School for Becca who attends three full days a week. It’s hard to believe she’ll be in Kindergarten next year.
On a sad note, Carolyn’s mom died last June at 93 after a brief illness. Geraldine Shahan was a remarkable, strong woman, an inspiration to all of us who were privileged to know and love her. Although my Dad’s health continues to decline, he still manages to live independently at Friendship Village of Sunset Hills, where he will turn 91 in February.
We are truly blessed. Please accept our best wishes for healthy and happy 2012. Peace, Shalom, Salaam.Happy Holidays, Like It or Not!
| Happy Holidays, Like It or Not! | for everyone |
Tonight
I was wished “Merry Christmas” once and “Happy Holidays” twice as we shopped.
Neither offended me. No one seemed offended when I responded in kind.
I
keep reading about all the people I might offend if I offer “Happy Holidays”
instead of “Merry Christmas.” So can I be offended by their being offended?
(Which greeting actually qualifies as politically correct if both are
potentially offensive?) Surely we have more important things to get PO’d about than
what kind of greeting is used for the holidays. Hey, nothing represents the
spirit of the season more than getting bent out of shape over a friendly
greeting, right?
If
you want to say, “Merry Christmas,” say it. I don’t care. I won’t be offended.
None of the (many) Jews I know will be offended. None of the (many) Muslims I
know will be offended. None of the (fewer) atheists or agnostics I know will be
offended. Now maybe someone, somewhere, will take offense, but I don’t know them.
But for the most part, non-Christians simply don’t care and don’t take it
personally.
So
why should my more inclusive greeting, recognizing the diversity of our
country, a country with religious freedom as part of its foundation, be
considered offensive or snidely deemed “politically correct”? Why should a
Christian take it personally if I call out a joyful, “Happy Holidays!” Why
should this be viewed as some attack on or denigration of Christianity? Why
should my failure to wish a Christian (whom I don’t know) a Merry Christmas be
any more offensive than a Christian’s innocent good wishes of a Merry Christmas
to a non-Christian?
So,
if you want to be offended, have at it. If you want to “unfriend” me on FaceBook
because my vision of Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men doesn’t match yours, well,
see ya. In either case, before you go, or get angry, or offended, allow me
offer you my sincere best wishes for the holiday season, no matter what holiday
you celebrate, or how you celebrate it (including the All American secular
shopping spree -- stimulate the economy, please!).
Happy
Holidays to one and all, and, in the words of that great secular marketing
icon, Santa Claus himself, “To All a Good Night!”
P.S.
For those interested in facts rather than emotion, to my knowledge (and I’ve
done some, but not extensive, research, mostly because I just don’t care
enough), no one has been fired by a retailer for wishing a shopper a Merry Christmas.
That the big retail chains have, of their own accord, altered their circulars to incorporate ALL
the possible holidays (Christmas, Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Winter Solstice, etc.) in
order to sell more merchandise is a corporate decision, aimed not at assaulting
Christianity but at enriching their bottom line. But if that offends you, may I
suggest, “Occupy WalMart”!
edited for appearance, not content (12/2/13)
Tags: religion, philosophy
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