Go Team. On Cheering #1

I’m approaching the 30 year mark as a softball coach (and, in fact, have passed it, if you count the recreational teams I helped with when Nicci was a kid). I’ve coached hundreds of games (and girls) and watched many others. This piece isn’t about the kids, though, it’s about the parents; its point was hammered home with a metaphorical composite bat at our most recent tournament over the weekend.

I noticed a distinct difference between how our parents cheered and how the parents on the other (competitive) teams cheered. Simply stated, winning seemed far more important to our opponents’ parents than it was to us. 

I’ve always known that my off-hand, almost stand-up, comedy shtick doesn't play well in many, if not most, venues. I use teasing and (what I like to think are) funny phrases to encourage and teach my girls. That’s my style and this old dog isn’t likely to change. For the most part, though, my players and their parents seem to appreciate the approach. Opposing parents, however, who seemingly think that world peace hangs in the balance on the outcome of a high school softball game, often give me dirty looks or raise the decibel level of their cheering as a counter-measure. 

I know I can be annoying. Just ask hundreds of former co-workers. Still, I like to think I’m more often amusing and generally likable. Virtually all of my parents and players alike have been supportive of the time I’ve spent with their daughters.

Don’t misunderstand. I like to win. I want to win every game, some, where I’ve been annoyed by the opposing coach, even more than others. But mostly I want to win because it’s more fun for the girls and, most importantly, because it usually means my girls have been successful. Perhaps that’s the difference between me (and most of the parents of my players) and the rest. Softball is a team sport with outcomes that depend on individual performances and I want my girls to perform well because I’m their biggest fan. If they perform well, or at least to the best of their ability, that represents success far more than whatever the score happens to be.

I’m in the right place as far as coaching. Junior varsity and in a district where parents generally recognize that their daughter’s well-being, as well as their own, does not depend on a softball game. And while I didn’t get to see as many Hancock parents at games back in the day, I remember them similarly -- and that was a varsity team. I don’t think I could enjoy my job as much as I do if the parents were as desperate as those of so many of our opponents seem to be.