To My Daughter on Her 40th Birthday

Dear Nicci,

I can’t believe that it was a (chronologically impossible) 40 years ago that you, finally, made your way into this world and changed my life for better and forever. You have made me a better teacher, a better husband, and a better person.

I had absolutely no clue that February morning, after panting through the night with your mother (the toughest woman I know) at the old St. Luke’s Hospital on Delmar, what was coming my way, but every day I loved you more, from Day 1 through, now, Day 14,610. You made that easy, of course, by being, well, you, a incredible woman of intelligence, integrity, and inspiration. Ironically, given that last sentence, you’ve never been about the “I” but about those around you, generous and giving. You define empathy. We still remember, when you were barely two, having to “rescue” the doll you gave to a crying child, a stranger, in the airport.

I posted a piece of whimsy last week about parenting being hard. Not that we didn’t consciously work at being the best possible parents we could, but you made it less challenging. You were a great kid, and it has been, and continues to be, a pleasure to watch you grow into a great adult, and now to observe as you work, and succeed, at being a great mom to Becca, your own piece of you, that gift you and Ben have given Mom and me, and the world.

Before I get deported to Wisconsin, the cheese capital of the country, I love having you as my daughter – and my friend. That is another gift you give us, not only on your birthday but every day. While we did not try to be your friend as you were growing up, it was our goal to raise you so that we could be friends after you reached adulthood. We are so glad that worked. Happy birthday. I love you.