Losing Friends While Influencing No One

So the field is set for the 2016 presidential election. The choirs and true believers in the full pews have all been preached to. The major parties have their candidates, the Libertarians threaten to become relevant, and even the Green Party may have the most influence since Ralph Nader cost Al Gore the presidency in 2000.

I do not care for whom you vote in November. That, of course, is not exactly true. I would obviously prefer that you vote for the same people as me, but I don’t expect that. Some of you will vote for Mr. Trump. The fact that I think he is dangerous and would put our country and economy at risk does NOT mean that I am right and you are stupid. People have their reasons for their candidate choices. I respect that their point of view is different from mine, that their situation is different from mine, that their history is different than mine. In short, I respect them as people.

I also respect everyone’s right to advocate for (or against) any candidate. I think that trying to influence the votes of others via Facebook memes, shares, reposts, retweets, etc. is fruitless, but hey, it’s your time and your life.

However, while I am not trying to accumulate or even maintain a particular number of Facebook friends, I am going to do my bit for civility. If the strategy I describe below culls the herd, so be it. There are even some I will be sad to lose, because I have warm feelings for them.

Nevertheless, if you post something that says, or even implies, that I am stupid or immoral or whatever, simply because I think differently than you, I am going to call you out. I will neither tolerate nor ignore that kind of disrespect and don’t need to have any connection with you. I will give you a (one) chance to retract or rethink, not your beliefs, but your approach. Because, again, I don’t care about your politics, but I do care about how you treat me (and others). 

I am not going to stalk those woodpecker strategy posters, who seem to believe that somehow their 45^th post of the day (hour?) will be the one that changes a mind. Nor am I looking for things that offend; quite frankly, that’s too easy a task, even for me at this stage of life. If a person wants to be offended, there’s plenty of, uh, stuff out there to accomplish that task. But if I see your post and it IS offensive, using the aforementioned criteria, I will no longer disregard it and hum the Frozen theme song, because then, in my mind, I am part of the problem of the growing incivility in politics and public discourse.

So, fair warning. If you get from me some variation of the following message: “Did you really intend to call me _____________ (stupid, immoral, evil, a libtard, unpatriotic, un-American, some other insult to be named later)? Because if you did, I don’t see how we can even be Facebook friends, and believe me, that’s a pretty low bar. I will take no response from you as an affirmative, that, ‘Yes, I really do think you are ________________,’ and act accordingly. I will also make my last post on your wall a notification of my action.” If you choose a proactive approach, that is up to you, but I would appreciate you telling me that you are choosing to “unfriend” me, so that I know why.

Rigged Game

I find it interesting that most of those posting the snarkiest comments and memes about Bernie Sanders getting cheated are not his disappointed supporters (whose posts are generally more measured), but those who would never have voted for him and regularly rage against whatever definition of socialism fits their particular point of pique at the moment. Trumpeters made the same charges earlier in the year, only the RNC was less successful in derailing his train.

I’m not defending rigging the game, mostly because it subverts democracy. But neither should anyone be shocked. The reason that the DNC sabotaged Sanders was because, wait for it, HE WAS NOT A DEMOCRAT. Why would we think a national party, which is not a neutral arbitrator or referee, would support someone who did not belong to the party? Sanders ran for the Democratic nomination not because he was a loyal Democrat, but because he knew that running as an independent would get him neither the platform nor publicity for his ideas. He’d have remained that quirky senator from Vermont.

Donald Trump’s candidacy followed a similar arc. The RNC opposed him because he was not viewed as a Republican, loyal or otherwise. The so-called loyalty pledge was aimed squarely at him. And really, did anyone believe he would have stuck to that pledge? Later down the campaign trail he pretty much guaranteed he would not. My guess is (and because this is America, there is no need for proof) there are similarly incriminating emails out there from Republican poohbahs. 

What I find most disconcerting, besides the easy accessibility and lack of security surrounding emails, is that so many people naively assume that what they write in an email will remain confidential. 

Hoozhapalooza

Disclaimer and full disclosure: The only reason for this entry is to show off the new word I coined. Since this seems to be important, it is, to the best of my knowledge, original and unplagiarized, and offered for free use to those who need it or can employ it appropriately, and those people know who they are.

We love our timeshare weeks. We must, because we bought our first one 36 years ago, have expanded to 5 weeks and have never traded for another place. It’s even part of the message for our (antediluvian) land line answering machine: “....And we don’t want to sell our timeshare weeks.” Ours is not a point-based system, but actual weeks at specific condos. Neither have we ever been able to use all our weeks (since we expanded past two), but have a long list of people interested in renting out the unused time.

The concept is not for everyone, but it worked for us, giving us a time and place that required minimal planning and a different yet familiar feel. We have our favorite restaurants, activities, and services that we can look forward to each summer. As a teacher, I didn’t have flexible vacation time; it was summer or not, for the most part. 

However, there is a down side. Time shares attract, shall we say, an eclectic clientele, including people of, ummm, different tastes and approaches to life. Which is generally fine, as we are firm believers in a live and let live approach to others. 

Week 29 here at the Redington Ambassador, however, does offer an eye-rolling challenge each year, as manifested by an ever expanding tent city on the beach from a local Tampa crew. The beer flows freely from early morning ‘til late at night, rivaling and actually easily beating the house-party weekends at my first college, because those only started on Thursday and pretty much petered out by Sunday afternoon. This beach party lasts all week. 

They do have a good (and loud) time, I must admit. And even as the numbers expand of this Hoozhapalooza^© (apologies to the Real Hoosiers of Indiana [new reality show?], except those responsible for inflicting Mike Pence on us), authorities and the condo association itself have reduced the hours and noise levels of dissipation by padlocking the pool at 11 p.m. to ensure it and the hot tub stay closed and encouraging police visits after midnight, when some revelers retreat to their balconies to continue their various forms of therapy.

There are lots of things you can control, just not your neighbors so much. And really, things have gradually improved over the last 3-4 years. Just one more thing to think about.

Final Thoughts About Alaska

As we fly home, I want to jot down some impressions while they’re still fresh. #joysofaging There is a what I see as a unique mindset among Alaskan natives (distinguished from Alaskan Native Americans); it is a very different way of thinking and approach to life which manifests itself in a variety of ways. I did not, however, find anything that could explain Sarah Palin. Neither could Alaskans.

I’m including a small few of my favorite pictures throughout this article, but I promise they have absolutely no connection to the words themselves and the order is, more or less, random. Almost all were posted elsewhere on Facebook, so feel free to look my page up if you want a more comprehensive collection.

The Alaskan lifestyle is active and outdoorsy, incorporating constant interaction with nature. It seems most everyone spends their leisure time hiking, climbing, boating, fishing, hunting…. I’m pretty sure that the 49th state is waaaay down on the American obesity charts. My observation: if you see someone overweight in Alaska, odds are strong you’re looking at a tourist. It is not a lifestyle that I would find enticing, but I certainly have a lot of respect for those who do.

The people we met were universally friendly and welcoming, proud of their state and happy to share its beauty. At the same time, they are also, and this may seem somewhat paradoxical, kind of a solitary lot. Lots of small towns, almost villages, really, with isolated, or at most small pods houses, kind of like the whales and eagles we saw in abundance. No McMansions here (someone is actually living in this old mining office). There is a definite pioneer sense, an embracing of self-sufficiency, fitting for a state that bills itself, accurately in my view, The Last Frontier.

The landscape is equal parts breath-taking and forbidding. It is not for the faint of heart, mind or body. Recycling and repurposing is not an environmental fad as much a piece of their “waste not, want not,” almost Spartan, culture. The native peoples and their contributions to the story of Alaska also seem to be respected, even honored and celebrated by the non-indigenous denizens. I certainly didn’t get into depth enough to know whether some of the problems faced by Native Americans in the lower 48 are more problematical (although I suspect so), but Alaska has just so much space that there seems to be less competition and less pressure to conform. It struck me that there is a definite blending of the non-native and native cultures and ways of life.

As I peruse the pictures I took on this trip, I am struck by how much it reminds of the South Pacific, except, you know, Alaska being 30-40 degrees colder, although only slightly less humid, and significantly less sunny. Both locales, however, are incredibly green with awe-inspiring vistas: from the islands floating in variegated water in the South Pacific to the snow-capped peaks in Alaska. As we traveled in the former last Spring, it got to the point of one picture following another of lush, tropical views. In Alaska last week it was picture after picture of mountains and forests and icy streams, almost magnetically captivating, to be sure, but not all that different from the day before.

I would be more than happy to revisit this vast magnificent land; even from a tourist perspective, there are many more places to explore. But for any number of reasons, I cannot imagine actually living in Alaska, even as a seasonal employee. Too grey, (I need the sun creating a shine from my head to my toes.) too isolated, too rustic, too “uncivilized.” I may be an introvert but have no desire to become a hermit. I need my cultural and my creature comforts. Well, maybe I don’t need them, but I want them and have no desire to live without them. By Alaskan standards I am, no doubt, soft. And while I have no illusions about surviving the Zombie or some other apocalypse, I’m not at all concerned for the perpetuation of the species as long as we have Alaskans.