Yom Kippur Revisited

I wrote the piece below last year; I think it coincides well the following article: http://theweek.com/article/index/269195/why-even-non-jews-should-celebrate-yom-kippur

I’ve written previously about my favorite holiday (in the sense of holy day, not secular celebration), but as we approach Erev Yom Kippur I’m called to revisit it. I should clarify, I suppose, that I am not Jewish, not really anything. However, I was lucky enough to sit in its sands for four years, letting its waves gently lap over me, and I’ve grown to appreciate the meaning of the day, a meaning that continues to resonate in what passes for my soul.

I’ve suggested I don’t feel any great need to atone for things. I see myself as a good person, a kind person, one who would never deliberately hurt another, friend or foe. I recognize, however, that we all, at least inadvertently, cause pain for others. In my case, what passes for wit can occasionally serve as a steamroller of others’ feelings. While I may not intend for something I’ve said or written to be hurtful or taken personally, my intent is of little importance to those who feel like a target. Thus do I now ask forgiveness from those who were either direct or collateral damage from my occasional acerbic heavy-handedness.

However, for me at least, the significance of the day is primarily about letting go of your own hurts, those times when you saw yourself as a target. Even if the hurt was, in fact, personal (which, honestly, may over-elevate your place in the universe), it does you no good to hang on to the resentment that comes from whatever pain you suffered. It causes you to miss opportunities to get the most out of what you have now. I learned that lesson in time to have four wonderful (in the true meaning of the word, filled with wonder) years at Schechter/Mirowitz. For that, I will be forever indebted to Rabbi Selis for both giving me the opportunity and helping me to understand that piece of Yom Kippur.

Finally, Yom Kippur also affords me a time to reflect on whatever mistakes I have made and, more importantly, to forgive myself for those mistakes. There is no undo-key on life (Rule #6), and there are only so many times you can apologize for something before it stops being your responsibility (Rule #9). At some point, for your own sake and for the sake of those around you, you have to leave your baggage behind, forgive yourself, forgive others, and move on. We all have baggage, but displaying and carrying it around all the time does you no good and sends others scurrying for cover. My recommendation is to put your baggage in a storage locker and just bring it out for holidays. Yom Kippur serves that function for me.

Shalom.