Mind Your (Miss) Manners

If you have a minute, please peruse the following….

Judith Martin (aka Miss Manners and now collaborating with her son and daughter) writes a regular column on manners and etiquette.

Now I can’t match the multitude of knives, forks, and spoons to their specific uses or placement on a properly set table. However, neither do I think many of my friends would notice the difference, except, perhaps, with confusion, anyway. I do know that red wine goes in a bigger glass than white, but, to be honest, my friends will pretty much drink their wine out of anything, even plastic cups, if they’re desperate.

But manners and etiquette are about so much more than superficialities, and I am of the Pollyannaist opinion that most of our country’s problems, if not the world’s, could be solved if we all concentrated on being polite and avoiding rude behavior.

It seems to me that manners, at their core, are about treating people with respect. Without exception, every major (and even those less than major) religion has some variation of that philosophy as a core belief. Be nice, be kind, treat others as you would like to be treated. 

So it disturbs me to see what I consider an increasing trend towards rudeness. (Feel free to insert one of the multitude of examples available here.) When we are inconsiderate and self-centered we add acceleration and heft to a snowball that threatens an avalanche with the potential to destroy us all. Rudeness is essentially selfishness, caring only about yourself. 

Lying, cheating, stealing, bullying, taking advantage, intimidating -- just different ways of being selfish, deciding that no one is more important than you, that no one’s needs supercede your own.

Most important, the truly civil are that way regardless of the actions of others. Contrary to the NRA’s beliefs, truly polite people do not depend on guns to create a mannered society. Neither do they try to justify rudeness as a response to someone else’s discourtesy; no, they just always act politely, even in the face of churlishness. What a wonderful world if we all were sincerely mannerly and polite, if we responded to disrespect with (unearned) respect.

Thank you for your time.