The Anger Games – Where The Odds Are NOT in Your Favor And No One Wins

I’m trying to take what I hope is an objective look at the 2016 election, free of recrimination or accusation. I am having trouble organizing my inchoate thoughts. I apologize if this seems disjointed. And too long. I’ve edited myself as best I could, without taking more time. I want to get this written and published and then take a break. It’s too depressing. And I’m not talking about the results of the election, but rather the stereotyping and bitterness that continues to spew from both sides. We all need to remember that half the country voted for the other candidate. But what I seem to be seeing on social media (which is why I plan to take a nice long break) is a new reality show, The Anger Games. “You think you’re pissed?! Well, see how pissed I am! Take that!” And back and forth it goes.

November 8 marked the first (and last) time I voted for Hillary Rodham Clinton, and it was more about voting against than voting for. Not that I believed most of the propaganda shoveled in her path; she was flawed, certainly, but I demand more evidence than hearsay and tenuous conspiracy theories before I buy into most of the accusations against her. Did she lose the election because she was a woman? Not really, although she was clearly held to a different standard than men and subjected to more intense scrutiny than male politicians. But anyone who voted against her because she was female wouldn’t have voted for a male with her belief system, either. (President Obama faced a similar challenge; the votes he lost because of race were not votes he could have ever won.)

Had HRC presented with the same characteristics as President-elect Trump, she would have had zero chance of even getting into a primary, much less out of one. I confess I still do not understand how his obvious flaws could be overlooked, not only overlooked but often celebrated. I hope his supporters don’t have to look back and consider the adage, “Be careful what you wish for.” I doubt that will happen, of course, and I’ll address that shortly.

But the primary cause of my reluctance, both this year and in 2008 is that she is, and has been for decades, a polarizing figure. Her mere presence in the political arena generates such antipathy in our country that I saw no way she could be an effective leader, no matter what other positive attributes, and in my opinion there were many, she might possess. However, the obvious polarization manifested since the election of Mr. Trump seems to point not to any particular candidate, but the widening division in our country. I fear that the number of people on either side who have closed their minds is growing and the rift between us is becoming a gaping chasm.

Still, Mr. Trump’s victory speech said the right things, calling for healing and unity. I hope (and will give him the benefit of the doubt) that those were more than just words, that he meant what he said. I further hope his more ardent supporters (again, half the country voted for the other candidate) also take those words to heart, although I haven’t seen too much of that yet on social media; granted, the occasionally unhinged comments of those who opposed him hardly constitute an olive branch either. Winners, however, real winners, are magnanimous in victory and don’t feel the need either gloat or to respond to every perceived slight. Responding with even more anger to the bitterness of the disappointed only drives the sharp wedge of division deeper into our collective soul.

We might want to remind ourselves (as I am not finished reminding you) that an essentially equal number of citizens voted for each candidate and that we need each other if we are to become “one nation, indivisible.” If Mr. Trump can lead us (supporters and opponents alike) in that direction, that would indeed be a step toward greatness and the most important accomplishment of his presidency. That will require, however, that all of us stop pointing fingers, laying blame, matching insult for insult (“An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”), but instead go about the hard work of actually listening to each other, recognizing others’ points of view, practicing empathy (just because something is not your problem does not mean there is no problem), understanding that good people of good will can, and do, see the same picture differently because their life stories are different. Not better, not worse, just different. All those stories need to be valued.

I also call on President-elect Trump’s supporters stand up to the unsavory elements of his base. I know many, many good people who supported Mr. Trump. Undoubtedly, most of them were. Contrary to some extreme thinking, voting for Mr. Trump did not make someone racist, sexist, xenophobic, etc. However, I’m pretty sure that every racist, sexist and xenophobe did, in fact, vote for him, which is their right, just as it is for unsavory characters on the left. But I would challenge his supporters to call out the racists, the sexists, the xenophobes when they rear their ugly, deplorable heads. And, by that, I mean truly stand up. Tsk, tsk, head-shaking or even, “Well, that’s not me,” and the like do not constitute a sufficient response to the ugly poison of racism, sexism, anti-Semitism, xenophobia, etc. That is your responsibility to the rest of us. And our responsibility to the rest of you is to also point out the same, respectfully. Just because you do not recognize or believe something to be racist (and all the other -ists) does not mean you are correct.

I also hope that his supporters will objectively assess his presidency, statements and actions, and not go into auto-defense, bunker mentality, blindly defending his every move. He will be criticized by many, (over half the country did not vote for him) because listening to and accepting criticism is part of the job of being President of the United States. I don’t see this as a great strength of Mr. Trump, so it is up to his supporters to keep those lines of communication open and not reflexively strike back at the legitimate concerns of those who disagree. If you just sit in the echo chamber, defending every action because you somehow feel that you need to be “all in” (this expression is the only valuable thing to come out of televised poker, IMO) on your support, to the point that you cannot disagree or be critical, you do neither your country nor your president any favors. That, too, is your responsibility to the rest of us. On the other side, if, like me, you did not vote for Mr. Trump, our responsibility as citizens of the United States of America is to not reflexively oppose everything or everyone on his team.

By the same token, disappointed, or even angry, Clinton supporters must also recognize that good, decent people, millions and millions of them, voted for President-elect Trump, about the same number that voted for HRC. Although their votes may seem like a personal attack on your values (in much the same way that your vote for any other candidate might seem like a rejection of everything they hold dear), it was not. Their vote was not about you any more than your vote was about them. We all have our own perspectives, and until we start listening, truly listening to those perspectives, working to understand those perspectives, our divisions will not only remain open sores but will fester and the infection that plagues us and threatens our democratic republic will spread. It is all of our responsibility to treat those wounds, deep as they may be, gently, with respect, and work to heal them.

I do not minimize the difficulty of these responsibilities. I hope you do not minimize their importance. United we stand; divided, we will, inevitably, fall, and our once great nation will fail and truly no longer be great. And it won’t make a damn bit of difference which side is in power when that happens.