It’s graduation season and over six months since I last updated my “Rules o’ Life.” I hope these
additions represent an upgrade to what I’d tell graduates, in the unlikely event that Tony LaRussa or some other celebrity had to cancel at the last minute and I needed to fill in. In any case, these are the thoughts that have
emerged from my “philosopher at leisure” mind, at least those that haven’t
gotten lost on the way to paper (along with my keys and phone -- see #47).
44 Before trying
to convince others that you’re right, ask, and admit the
possibility, “What if I’m wrong?”
I’ve written on this
topic at least a couple times. Reference #1: http://bobberndt.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-if-im-wrong.html
Perhaps this is more a corollary to Rule #2.
45 The potential
to do harm is greater if thinking is missing from the picture.
Action without
considering the “What ifs?” presents an engraved invitation to the results of the Law of
Unintended Consequences, one which will frequently be accepted without an RSVP.
I believe most poor decisions are the result of failing to think critically
rather than evil intentions.
46 Just because
a critic says something is “good” doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Critics have a job to do,
and their opinions may, or may not, be based on a better or deeper
understanding than my own. I’m perfectly comfortable in taking those judgments
as just one piece of the puzzle. Amazon.com just created a list of Top 100 Books. It
included Great Expectations. I’ve read that book three times. It
never got any better than when I hated it in eighth grade! The Great
Gatsby is on the list, too.
47 Most
important youth lessons are painfully learned.
Maybe it’s just being
cursed with a good memory (unless I’m trying to find my keys or my phone – I
call myself more than anyone calls me), but I
remember every stupid thing I ever said or did. Example: Fraternity President
John Spangler: “Why don’t you just keep your mouth shut if you don’t know what
the #☠§☢
you’re talking about?” The fact that he was right made this even more painful.
Sadly, my youth lasted well into my 20’s.
48 Live so that
people will want to celebrate your life at your funeral.
I wrote this before the
unfortunate, premature demise of my friend Richard Sharp, but I think he got
this part right. Here’s to you, Rich.
49 Next time is
often a long time from now….
Too often we assume we’ll
get another opportunity to do it right or better. Don’t count on that.
50 If you don’t
have anything to do, that’s probably pretty much what you’ll actually get done.
A lesson learned from
retirement. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing.
51 Just because
someone put you in charge of the restaurant doesn’t mean you should try to tell
the cooks how to do their jobs.
One of the reasons the
management of so many places of employment is so abysmal. Regimented workers
afraid of their supervisors are not going to be terribly productive, to say
nothing of creative. Too often it’s about power and control, not effectiveness.
52 Sports
without sportsmanship is just war with fewer casualties.
If, as coaches, we’re not including (and modeling)
good sportsmanship, we’re failing our athletes.
53 Just because
you’re as good at something as you care to be doesn’t mean you’re actually good
at it.
Take it from a classic underachiever. We all want to
think we’re better than we are, mostly because of the effort it would take to
become the best we can be.
And, as always, the (revised) original list. Most phrasing, if not the idea itself, is mine, but those knowingly borrowed are in italics.
1 You don’t get a discount on the
Happy Meal just because you’re not….
2 Being “right” is over-rated….
3 Love increases in direct
proportion to usage.
4
Better to ask forgiveness than permission.
5 Find satisfaction in achieving
the best result possible instead of frustration over failing to achieve the
best possible result.
6 There’s no “undo key” for life.
7 Don’t worry about what other
people think about you, because, in fact, they’re not (thinking about you).
8 Most people are capable of
redemption, but only if you allow it.
9 If one sincere apology isn’t enough,
forgiveness isn’t really on the agenda (Okay, maybe two).
10 Life is a marathon, not a
sprint.
11 Not liking an answer doesn’t
make it wrong.
12 Being correct and being wrong
are NOT mutually exclusive.
13 If you’re both the host and
guest of honor at a Pity Party, don’t expect a large turnout.
14 Although your body offers
numerous hints, it’s when your mind stops growing that marks the beginning of
the end.
15 You never know the limits of
your reach until you fall on your face.
16 Try to go where you’re
invited, stay away from where you’re not.
17 If you can’t like yourself,
what’s the point for anyone else?
18 Be a good audience.
19 Admitting that you are/were
wrong is both cathartic and liberating.
20 If you can never be satisfied,
don’t be surprised when people stop trying.
21
Wherever you go, there you are.*
22 It’s just so much easier to
tell the truth in the first place.
23 Stereotyping victimizes both
the typee and typer.
24 Just because you agree with me
doesn’t mean I’m right. **
25 If you insist on seeing the
glass half-empty (or less), don’t be surprised if someone just drinks the rest.
26 The loudest voice has no more
claim to truth than the softest.
27 It’s way easier to fix the
flaws in others than deal with your own.
28 You can always find something
to complain about, but I’m not sure how that’s helpful to anyone.
29 People will generally live up
to or down to your expectations.
30 If you want to make a fresh
start, it will require more than a change in location.
31 If you’ve never offended
anyone, it’s likely you’ve never said or done anything worth thinking about.
32 If someone really wants your
advice or opinion, (s)he’ll ask.
33 Hey, if you’re going to nurse
a grudge, at least make it over something life-altering.
34
Pay yourself first.
35 If you expect people to read
between the lines, make sure the font is dark and bold – and don’t forget to
double space.
36 Whether it’s arson or an
accident, you can’t unburn a bridge. You can rebuild it, eventually, but getting
a permit from the right person can be problematical.
37 The pain-level of an insult is
directly proportional to its truth-level.
38 Unsolicited opinions are like
pennies – it’s easy enough to find one lying around – and it’s worth about as
much. (See Rule #32)
39
Blaming others for your failure to ask
for what you need is a little backwards. (If
you don’t A-S-K you don’t G-E-T.)
40 Just because you have the
right doesn’t make it right.
41 Make sure your path to the
target is clear when tossing a well-aimed dart – you never know who might walk
in front of it.
42 Most rules written in crisp,
dark black print on starkly white paper may be clear but are also fragile and
easily broken.
43 If what you’re doing
to win her (him) isn’t real, the relationship won’t be either.
44
Before
trying to convince someone else that you’re right, ask, and admit the
possibility, “What if I’m wrong?”
45 The potential to do harm is greater
if thinking is missing from the picture.
46 Just because a critic says something
is “good” doesn’t mean I have to like it.
47 Most important youth lessons are
painfully learned.
48 Live so that people will want to
celebrate your life at your funeral.
49 Next time is often a long time from
now….
50 If you don’t have anything to do,
that’s probably pretty much what you’ll actually get done.
51 Just because someone put you in
charge of the restaurant doesn’t mean you should try to tell the cooks how to
do their jobs.
52 Sports without sportsmanship is
just war with fewer casualties.
53 Just because you’re as good at something as you care to
be doesn’t mean you’re actually good at it.
54 You’re welcome to
borrow or revise any of these, but you’re better off with your own list; it is,
after all, YOUR life.
55 Always leave room
for one more….
*Apparently
stolen from Confucius. Who knew? I thought I was using something from Buckaroo
Banzai Across the Eighth Dimension.
**The
converse is also true.
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