Second Thoughts

Maybe third and fourth....

All year long, when people asked me, “So, how is retirement?” I answered honestly, “Good. I made the right call.” I believed that statement and, contrary to my prediction last March, really didn’t have many second thoughts. Sure, I missed that special group of kids that was the SMJCS Class of 2014, “my” sixers from two years ago. But I felt like I had made the tough decision that needed to be made.

But tonight, as I watched them graduate, make their speeches, as I saw how much they had changed since last year, I confess to thinking, “Damn, I sure would have liked to have been a more intimate witness to and been a more active participant in their growth into the fine young men and women they have become.”

The hugs and handshakes, before and after the ceremony, the kind words and thanks from so many parents (and grandparents, my new cohort), the chance to reconnect with the outstanding staff who had been my co-workers, certainly the composite of all that sentiment didn’t help. Well, it helped my ego, but as both detractors, and even admirers, will tell you, that hasn’t been a serious problem for me for some time now.

Once the emotions arising from this evening fade a little deeper into the background I’ll probably be able to return to a more objective state of mind. But this was a very special group of kids, kids who “got” me and whom I “got” in return. We have a special bond and they will always have a special place in the rich memories of my heart. So tonight, sleep will not come easily and my night will be tinged with at least a touch of regret, tempered by the gratitude of knowing that our connections will fade far more slowly than the regret and will journey with them in the years to come.

So, thank you to the SMJCS Class of 2014. We were a good match. I love you all.