Bad Things, Good People, & Happy New Year

I used to assert that “Good things happen to good people.” I frequently told worried parents, “You have a good kid. (S)he may be struggling right now, but I think things will work out in the end.” In my more philosophic moments, however, I also wonder if I use that assertion to claim my own “goodness.” Does having avoided tragedy imply goodness? Of course not, but it does make it easier to hold to the theory. 

I still generally hold to that belief, but in this year’s batch of cards and letters came distressing news from a friend I like and respect, but with whom I am in contact really only around Christmas time. She’s had a terrible run the last 2-3 years, having had to deal with one loss after another, plus some health issues of her own. This year’s note (explaining why she had missed exchanging letter-cards last year) reminded me that bad things also happen to good people, people who don’t deserve to face the tragedy and loss that afflicted them.

Okay, probably no one who is mentally healthy thinks he or she deserves to face tragedy and loss, but some of those tragedies are created by poor life choices, choices made in spite of better advice and opportunities. Still, the unanticipated tribulations endured by others always motivates me to remember that time is limited and precious, to appreciate what we have now, and to take advantage of the blessings bestowed upon us, because, well, you never know.

One of the less appreciated “gifts” passed on from my mother is what I call my “premonition of dread.” I can always imagine tragedy around the next corner. It’s so ingrained that I probably drive my family nuts when I launch into worry mode prematurely. (Fortunately, I’m the only one with that gene, and Carolyn and Nicci have learned to put up with it.) Intellectually I know that I’m over-reacting and creating a stew that no one can enjoy. Emotionally, however, those feelings churn on, bubbling away until the fire is out.

So my resolution, such as it is, for this year is to just “be”: be myself, be relaxed, be appreciative, be happy, be ready, be good. May 2014 be great for you and yours.

Happy Holidays -- Our Holiday Letter, Volume XV

No Monopoly on Political Correctness

Political Correctness is in the Eye of the Audience.

Is there a politically correct position if you know, going in, you’re going to offend one side or the other? With so many people being so easily offended these days (or, at least, willing to pretend to be offended to score a political point, or even half-point), you’re going to be politically incorrect at least some of the time just by offering an opinion, unless you’re Bill Maher, of course, but he makes a (very good) living deliberately offending people ALL the time!

So if you’ll agree to the stipulation that we are ALL politically incorrect in someone’s view, let me move on to how even such an ambiguous term gets manipulated. My objection is to those who decry “political correctness” when their ox is being gored, but fail to recognize their own attempts to enforce orthodoxy.

Take, for example, the phony debate over wishing people Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Those, like myself, who prefer the more non-denominational greeting are criticized for being politically correct, even if that offering is a conscious choice and not an intent to avoid offending. But if I were to avoid “Happy Holidays” with certain people because I know it would be deemed offensive, isn’t that being politically correct?

The A&E network is being lambasted, at least by some, for political correctness because it suspended one of the Duck Dynasty guys who offered his opinion about homosexuality. Certainly for most of media-land that intolerance is politically incorrect. On the other hand, wouldn’t the Biblical literalist crowd enforce conformity on any of their band who offered the contrary opinion, that sexual orientation is far less of a choice than, say, your religion? How would that position play in his church?

The Dixie Chicks offended conservatives some years back with a throw-away line at a concert in London, but were subjected to a politically correct banishment by C/W radio that apparently continues to this day. Was Natalie Maines’s attempt at humor politically incorrect? Of course. But didn’t the country western community impose its own political correctness by refusing to play their music because they didn’t want to offend any listeners?

If you look at the bottom line (and I’ll claim the tag of economic historian as long as you don’t require any credentials), most political correctness disputes come back to money. National chain stores use “Happy Holidays” not to attack Christianity or Christmas, but to try to sell more merchandise to even more people. No one is considering the possibility that A&E’s actions are based on a belief as sincerely held as Phil Robertson’s; the network is being attacked because it is assumed they’re being politically correct in trying not to offend any group. The Chicks vanishing act from radio stemmed from stations’ fear of losing advertising money by playing their songs.

If, like Phil Robertson or Natalie Maines, you are in the public eye, you need to be aware that when you use a public forum, there are potential (economic) consequences. (I am more sympathetic to Ms. Maines because she was just trying to be funny more than make a political statement, but admit my politics might also play a part in reaching that conclusion.) If you’re threatening or participating in a boycott, that is your absolute right; but whichever wing of the political spectrum you inhabit, that participation is an attempt to enforce some kind of political correctness. In the same way that both sides can wave the flag, both sides are guilty of sneering the phrase “politically correct” for their own agendas.

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/17/13, Key West

Our final stop, Key West, was a treat. We will probably return for a stay on our own when we have time to explore it at our leisure.

We toured Harry Truman’s Little White House, which, combined with our visits to the Truman Library in Independence, keeps his presidential stock in the blue chip category. (If you’ve never visited a presidential library, you’re missing a bet. We plan to hit more in the coming years.)

We then kind of strolled the touristy area, visited (and spent money at) Crazy Shirts, a Hawaiian based store that we had known previously only through the catalogs that show up at our house. We finished with a “perfect” margarita from the original Margaritaville, and the drink lived up to its name. The bar itself is small and dark, without the long lines (at least in mid-afternoon) of the chain restaurants that share the name. One more item off the bucket-list.

Back to Miami and the real world tomorrow, but it’s been a nice trip and a good rehearsal for the 16-day cruise from Miami to Los Angeles (via the Panama Canal) we have planned for next year. We really enjoy Regent Seven Seas and its (pretty much) all inclusive approach (including drinks, wine at dinner, etc.) that doesn’t leave you stunned (or force you to think about every decision) as you get off the ship. Nothing’s free, of course, you essentially pay in advance, but, as noted previously, I don’t like the nickel and dime approach of other lines (as in bartering, I want to know the cost up front and decide from there).

So many places to see, so many things to do. Can’t wait to see what comes next as Carolyn and I enjoy our time and each other’s company. (Our ship is the one in the middle, below.) Our next ship will be a little bigger, probably holds another dozen or so passengers, I think! Still time to join us....

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/16/13, Cozumel

Our goal on this cruise was simply to relax and unwind after a busy year (end of my teaching career, lots of softball, personal matters, etc.), so we passed on the Cozumel excursions (many of which are “no charge” when you sail Regent; we don’t snorkel or scuba, which are the primary attractions) and stayed on board, save for a fast dash through the tourist shops gauntlet after you leave the pier. One of the vendors even noted, “Small ship, small dollars.” Apparently these places make their living off the mega ships with thousands of people streaming by.

It would be an understatement to say that I don’t enjoy bartering and if that expectation is the basis of their pricing then I’d just as soon leave empty handed, and I did. I don’t want to be a sucker, nor do I want to just throw dollars around buying things I neither need nor want. Being verbally accosted by shop-keepers selling essentially the same, uh, stuff, does not make for a pleasant experience. One jewelry store owner used a low-key approach that at least got us in his doors and looking at merchandise, but the proffered 50% discount for cash – which we didn’t bring enough of – gave us sufficient pause that we walked away to discuss a possible purchase but didn’t return.

The weather was finally nice, though, and the sun shone brightly on the pool deck and our cabin’s balcony. That is our “yacht to the right.” We are looking forward to our first visit to Key West tomorrow and will try to be more touristy.

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/15/13, Belize

As the debate rages (well, at least simmers) over extending unemployment benefits in this country, this might be an interesting time to cover our visit to Belize. “If you don’t work, you don’t eat,” our guide said proudly as we drove to more Mayan ruins. (I’m a history geek, but not so heavily invested in the Mayans; I tend to think if you’ve seen one set of ruins, you’ve pretty much seen them all. The weather wasn’t conducive to other  trips, however.) I hear some heads nodding vigorously as she continued, “We have no social welfare system.” They also have no educational system, having turned that job over to various [Christian] churches which they subsidize (with or without favoritism, I wonder?).

Some Americans have even relocated to Belize. For that reason? I don’t know, but I appreciate the irony that Americans have been given land by the government. So does that constitute a social welfare system for wealthy foreigners in exchange for their spending power? The (relative) poverty and lack of infrastructure is obvious and wide spread, and I don’t see how subsidizing Americans will result in enough trickle down benefits to the people to make a significant difference.

One thing I noticed in both Belize and Guatemala was an abundance of trash piles. I’m sure the people are efficient in the concepts of reuse and repurposing, but the detritus is piled up around houses and along the roads, marring the supposed beauty of a lush tropical paradise.

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/14/13, Guatemala

We’re leaving Guatemala and its port of muddy water, and I’m watching the dock workers watching the cruise ship pull away and I can’t help but wonder what they’re thinking. These are men with above average jobs and income, but what do they think about those of us who can afford such luxury? Are they resentful? I don’t know how they could not be, at least a little. Are we any more deserving of our fate than they?

I don’t feel guilty; it’s not my fault that my life offers me the opportunity to travel. To a certain extent I earned this; I’ve always tried to be more of a giver than a taker, to leave the world a better place for my having lived. Carolyn and I worked hard at our (giving)/serving) professions, did the best we could for our patients/students and colleagues, took pride in our jobs.

But we, and especially me, certainly had more than a leg up on the people we saw today, due mostly to the accident of our birth. Unlike the children we saw working today, we had parents who made sure we were educated, had opportunities to learn and grow, to have careers. We had enough to eat, had shelter and security. I had even more than that, thanks to the sacrifices of my parents, to their desire to ensure we could have a better life than even they had. That’s not always the case even in the United States, but in underdeveloped countries, the odds are even greater.

According to our guide, the literacy rate in Guatemala has risen from 25% to 33% in the past 10 or so years. Certainly increased education means increased opportunity. One need only look at the average incomes of Americans based on education to see that. I’m sure that is true in countries like Guatemala, as well, but I have to wonder just how much opportunity there really is for an educated Guatemalan. More than an uneducated one, no doubt, but so much depends on patience.

In my almost four decades at Hancock, I taught one doctor and no lawyers (that I know of – and I think I’d likely know). I certainly taught plenty of kids who were smart enough to become doctors or lawyers, plenty who, as freshmen, said they wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. Why so few then? Because the jump was too big, needed too much commitment, too much focus, and too few obstacles. Instead my best kids settled for success on “lesser” levels (not that being a doctor or lawyer are the only hallmarks of success). However, I’m willing to bet that there will be a number of second-generation doctors, the children of the many teachers and social workers I was lucky to teach.

Imagine the challenges in a country like Guatemala, though. If it’s that hard for Americans, where, for the most part, it really isn’t a question of survival, of not going hungry, of the opportunity at least being there, what are odds for child of third-world poverty (and yes, I know Guatemala isn’t even close to the poorest in the third-world). How can there not be resentment as the people watch us in our big tour busses or big cruise ships (which probably throw away enough food to host a feast for a small town), knowing how badly the odds are stacked against them?

I wonder what these people dream for their children? Do they dare to hope? And, if so, for what do they hope? Becca has a couple classmates adopted from Guatemala. Carolyn spent most of this day thinking how lucky this brother and sister are to have been rescued from the lives we saw here.

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/13/13, Costa Maya

Because our goal for this cruise was essentially R&R, we had scheduled a day at a beach resort on the Costa Maya. Waking up to a steady rain with little prospect for improvement as the day wore on, driving for an hour to huddle under umbrellas or huts on wet sand did not sound too appealing, so we bailed and caught up on reading and resting (also a possible definition of R&R).

Mission accomplished!

Delayed Cruise Diary, 11/11-12/13, Miami

The first day of our cruise was a “free” day in Miami. We haven’t been to Miami since 1976 and that was for an NEA convention when I was distracted and busy (and in true-believer mode), and it wasn’t all that happy a time for us.

This time we stayed in a Conrad, one of the more upscale nameplates of the Hilton brand. What was most interesting was that the “lobby” was on the 25^th floor, so we had to go up to check in, down to our room, then up again to leave the building. There were also offices and condos in the building. But we looked out over the water near the port and it was within walking distance to a shopping and dining area. Not our usual choice, but a nice day that began way too early with a 6:15 a.m. flight.

Without any judgment I would say that if you’re going to live or work in Miami it would be to your advantage to speak Spanish. Heard lots of Spanglish, too, as people bounced back and forth between the two languages. I have no problem with that, as second and third generation immigrants are (at least) bilingual. The city felt more “foreign” than most American cities, but familiar at the same time. Very urban, and for a guy who has become used to a suburban life-style, Miami would require some adjustment. I think I could make it easily enough, so this is just an observation.

We let the cruise line (Regent Seven Seas) make all the arrangements and things have gone smoothly as we prepare for our journey to the Costa Maya, Guatemala, Belize, Cozumel and Key West before returning to Miami. The freedom to do things like this is one big reason why I decided to retire.

Apparently my doctor agrees. At my annual physical earlier this week he said, “You guys are doing it right. You never know.” He said things were good, so I’m assuming there wasn’t any subtext in that statement. But he’s right. You never know and opportunities are, almost by definition, limited. We are looking forward to a week to relax and unwind.