Bad Things, Good People, & Happy New Year

I used to assert that “Good things happen to good people.” I frequently told worried parents, “You have a good kid. (S)he may be struggling right now, but I think things will work out in the end.” In my more philosophic moments, however, I also wonder if I use that assertion to claim my own “goodness.” Does having avoided tragedy imply goodness? Of course not, but it does make it easier to hold to the theory. 

I still generally hold to that belief, but in this year’s batch of cards and letters came distressing news from a friend I like and respect, but with whom I am in contact really only around Christmas time. She’s had a terrible run the last 2-3 years, having had to deal with one loss after another, plus some health issues of her own. This year’s note (explaining why she had missed exchanging letter-cards last year) reminded me that bad things also happen to good people, people who don’t deserve to face the tragedy and loss that afflicted them.

Okay, probably no one who is mentally healthy thinks he or she deserves to face tragedy and loss, but some of those tragedies are created by poor life choices, choices made in spite of better advice and opportunities. Still, the unanticipated tribulations endured by others always motivates me to remember that time is limited and precious, to appreciate what we have now, and to take advantage of the blessings bestowed upon us, because, well, you never know.

One of the less appreciated “gifts” passed on from my mother is what I call my “premonition of dread.” I can always imagine tragedy around the next corner. It’s so ingrained that I probably drive my family nuts when I launch into worry mode prematurely. (Fortunately, I’m the only one with that gene, and Carolyn and Nicci have learned to put up with it.) Intellectually I know that I’m over-reacting and creating a stew that no one can enjoy. Emotionally, however, those feelings churn on, bubbling away until the fire is out.

So my resolution, such as it is, for this year is to just “be”: be myself, be relaxed, be appreciative, be happy, be ready, be good. May 2014 be great for you and yours.