Moving On, Moving Over

Moving on, Moving over...

May 7, '09 2:51 PM for everyone

http://www.newsweek.com/id/195657

For this rambling randomness to make much sense you need to read Anna Quindlen's farewell column in Newsweek (see link above)... Even then it may not make that much sense because it represents inchoate thoughts of which even I am unsure.

I'm in the process of trying to get back in the (education) game, having tossed out applications in a variety of places. I've even gone on an interview (which, as time passes, becomes less promising). But I'm beginning to wonder, is this what I should be doing? Maybe I really am the dinosaur that Hancock's current superintendent implied I was when he said, "We have [younger, cheaper] people who can do what you do." Maybe it was time to get out of the way of younger colleagues who are more open to the changes swamping education.

Is it proof of my calcification when I suggest that change swamping education has been ever-present during my career? For 37 years it was one reform movement after another, and for most of my career I was generally supportive of the goals if not the methodology. Heck, frequently I helped lead the reforms. As my career progressed my focus narrowed and I essentially channelled the energy required by reform to my classroom. I didn't care about meetings, committees, reports; I only cared about my little corner of the educational world. And I wasn't particularly reticent (although neither was I outspoken) about my choice. But I know, even if my moronic superintendent didn't get it, that I was doing a great job for my kids at Hancock when I got dumped.

So, maybe it is time for me to move over and give way to the young professionals who still believe that they can save the world and will buy into the changes demanded by society, politicians, ivory tower experts, clueless administrators, etc. Maybe I'm stuck in the past when the profession and the students we serve need something (someone) more connected to the future. Anyone who watched Willie Mays' last year in baseball understands the advantage of going out at the top of your game and not waiting to be told it's time to move on.

Or maybe I'm rationalizing because I'm becoming increasingly doubtful that anyone is going to hire me for a teaching job. I'll do better on the next interview (not that I did badly, really, but French is clearly my third best subject), assuming I can even get one, despite what I think is a reasonably impressive resumé. I was excited about the possibility of the job and the prospect of learning, but.... 

I don't agree with the expression, "You can't go home again." You can go home again, but it's probably unreasonable to think nothing will have changed. It's been a year since I was in the classroom. Could I regenerate the enthusiasm necessary to make it work? Have I become too cynical? I'd hate to take a job and then bail after a year because I just can't care enough. I'm enough of a realist to know that's at least within the realm of possibility.

So, we'll see. I've made a decent, if not fully concerted, effort to find something for next year (and perhaps that's evidence, in and of itself, that it's time to walk away). If something pops, great. If not, well, I can look back with a certain amount of satisfaction on what's been a rewarding career. Yes, I miss the performance art of teaching, I miss interacting and establishing relationships with kids that could continue for years after they graduate. But maybe I'm being selfish wanting that to continue. Maybe Anna Quindlen is right, it's time to step aside and let youth have its day. Maybe I just need to let it go and look back (only occasionally) with joy for what was rather than regret for what might have continued for longer than it should have. 

I've always been a proponent of the "Happiness as a Choice" school, So I'm going to let the future take care of itself and enjoy the life I have rather than mope over what might have been. Here's to the future, mine and everyone else's.

Tags: career, self-awareness